Radio Free Kirkopolis

No PETA Members, You’re Not Idiots At All
In yet another bold step, reminiscent of Rosa Parks, Martin Luther and Joan of Ark, a young PETA associate has taken a brilliant and bold step in wining the war on fast food.

A 19-year-old PETA staffer has legally changed his name to KentuckyFriedCruelty.com.

No Way!!! He’s like Patton, only more cunning.

"People don't believe me at first when I tell them my name, but it never fails to spark a discussion," Garnett, er, KentuckyFriendCruelty.com, said in a statement. "Many vow to boycott KFC after I explain the company's indifference to cruelty to animals."

Suuuure they do. I’m sure after you leave they’re also NOT saying “Dude, I totally convinced this hippie idiot that I’m not going to KFC. Hey, let’s hit the bong and get some extra crispy.”
But perhaps he is making some sort of dent-

"Stacked" star Pamela Anderson, who has narrated a PETA video showing the alleged abuse, supports Garnett's name change. "I'm sure Chris can't wait 'till KFC stops torturing chickens so he can change his name back," the actress said in a statement, adding that the chicken abuse "is awful and has to stop."

You know, when you have the support of Pam Anderson, the John Lennon for a new generation, you just might be on to something. Ten bucks says that in the back of this moron's head lies the notion that Pam might just show up at his apartment to show her 'thanks'. Yeah, right. And if that were to happen, this guy has to keep in mind that this lady slept with Tommy Lee for years, and at this point violating her would be like throwing a vegan hot dog down a hallway.

Fucking idiot.

# posted by Kirk @ 7:38 AM 1 comments

Selfish Humanitarinist. Self-Conscious Narcisst / Arm-Chair Particle Physicist / Firmly Grounded Transcendentalist / Classical Neo-Cubist, Rural Metropolitanist / Social Individualist / Clear Cutting Environmentalist / Metaphorical Literal Journalist / Humorous Thespis Dramatist / Dreamer Uber Pessimist

My birthday is just around the corner (February 12th to be exact) and coincidently, Rush has a new DVD out.
Remember, DVD’s make great gifts (I am such a whore).

In case you haven’t seen it, the teaser trailer for “Superman Returns” is out. This thing looks pretty cool and intentionally flows with Superman I and II (I guess it’s good thing they passed on including Richard Prior in this one). It’s a great trailer- check it out HERE.

For some reason, I find this story extremely funny. I really do wish I had the balls that this kid has.
Here’s a summation from what just might be my story of the week-

BAGHDAD, Iraq - A 16-year-old from Florida who traveled to Iraq on his own without telling his parents was put on a flight home Friday, the U.S. Embassy said, while warning Americans of the dangers of undertaking similar journeys. Farris Hassan, of Fort Lauderdale, had been under the care of the U.S. Embassy after being on his own in Iraq for several days.
A military officer accompanying him, who did not identify himself, said it was his task to get Hassan "safe and sound to the United States."
Hassan, a junior at Pine Crest School, a prep academy of about 700 students in Fort Lauderdale, recently studied immersion journalism — a writer who lives the life of his subject in order to better understand it.
The teenager, whose parents were born in Iraq but have lived in the United States for about 35 years, says he wanted to travel to Baghdad to better understand what Iraqis are living through.
"I thought I'd go the extra mile for that, or rather, a few thousand miles," he told AP in an interview earlier this week.
Skipping a week of school, he left the country on Dec. 11, telling only two high school friends of his plans. His travels took him to Kuwait and Lebanon before he arrived in Iraq on Christmas Day. He left without telling his family and sent an e-mail after his departure, Atiya said.
The teen traveled to Kuwait, where a taxi dropped him in the desert at the Iraq border, but he could not cross there because of tightened security ahead of the Iraqi parliamentary elections on Dec. 15. He went to Beirut, Lebanon, to stay with family friends, and flew from there to Baghdad.
After his second night in Baghdad, he contacted the AP and said he had come to do research and humanitarian work. The AP called the U.S. Embassy, which sent U.S. soldiers to pick him up.
State Department officials then notified his parents.

I have this strange fear of traveling in places I’ve never been before- I think it’s a fear of getting lost and of the unknown. This kid however…..

Update: Since this story has broken, the media is now comparing him to “Ferris Bueller.” Suddenly this kid annoys me. Ferris did FAR greater things in one day that this guy, or any of us will do in ten lifetimes.

What upsets me most about hate-filled Christians is they really ruin it for ones that mean and do well.
Seems there’s a Lutheran school in (of all places) California that is being sued for expelling two girls who are –get this- suspected of being lesbians.

The lawsuit alleges that the school's principal, Gregory Bork, called the girls into his office, grilled them on their sexual orientation and "coerced" one girl into saying she loved the other.
The next day, the lawsuit says, Bork told the girls' parents they could not stay at the school with "those feelings." In a Sept. 12 letter to the parents, Bork acknowledged that officials had seen no physical contact between the girls but said their friendship was "uncharacteristic of normal girl relationships and more characteristic of a lesbian one."

Right now my brother, the former school counselor, is spinning in his grave. Oh wait, he’s not dead, rather his head is spinning out of control. The girl’s principal, a man who’s only function is to lead, mold and mentor the young, just told two adolescent girls that they were not normal. That’s healthy.
This Bork guy (I refuse to use the obvious Bork is a Dork pun) gets even better-

"Such a relationship violates our Christian Code of Conduct," Bork wrote in his letter, which was included as an exhibit in the lawsuit. He called the girls' behavior "scandalous" and "immoral."

Concerned about the Christian conduct huh? Well, the girls’ attorney, Kirk Hanson, points out the obvious hypocrisy in Dork’s (damn, I did it!) er- Bork’s rational with this stroke of genius-

"There's a lot of hypocrisy going on here," Hanson said. "The school is claiming the girls were expelled because their conduct wasn't within the Christian code. But at the same time, (the school) has students who aren't Christians and are even Jewish."

Hanson said the 142-student school in Wildomar, Calif., must comply with state civil rights laws because it functions as a business by collecting tuition. I’m not sure about that. As much as I’m for equal rights, I’m under the sway that the same logic does not apply to certain private organizations, say the Moose Lodge or Elks. As much as I don’t agree, they can include or exclude whomever the hell they want. But, this is a school.
So why all this hatred toward two girls who might be lesbians? Usually this kind of mindless crap from male authority figures is reserved for ‘them peter puffers.’
My theory is this- Ol’ Bork came home early one day and caught his wife on the kitchen table rug-munching with her quilting instructor. Now Bork’s wife isn’t gay mind you, she was just experimenting outside her norm due to the fact that she was sexually unsatisfied at home by Bork himself. Seems Bork has a problem getting his solder to stand at attention due to his own homosexuality that he keeps buried deep in depths of his denial lobe.
But that’s just my theory. After all, can one even imagine a straight guy who would be repulsed two high school chicks getting’ it on?
Christians can be forgiven for every sin, except homosexuality. God forgave Jimmy Swaggert for spanking it in front of a hooker, but he better not go see “Brokeback Mountain”.
Again, don’t let these guys fool you. There are some good Christians out there that keep things in perspective, you just gotta be open minded and look for the good in them (ironic huh?).

In this case, it’s The Onion’s AV club’s list of “Least Essential Albums of 2005.”
I’ll let it speak for itself, click HERE and enjoy- it’s a great read.

So “Rocky VI” has just gone in to pre-production.
Good Lord.
You know what I’m still waiting for? “Rocky IV and ½.” This is the one that I’ve been dreaming of, where Clubber Lang fights Ivan Drago.
I’d pay to see that.

Side Note: While doing what little "research" I do for these, I found out that “Rambo IV” is also in pre-production.
Please, somebody stop him.

HDNet has been running episodes of “Hogan’s Heroes” lately and I gotta say that I’m drawn to it like a heroin addict to a World Bank protest.
This show is really great as an example of the PC world we now reside in. Think about it- it’s a comedy about Nazi prison camps. If that’s not a breeding ground for laughs, I don’t know what is. Could you possibly imagine the pitch meeting on this show?
“Nothin’ says funny like the Nazis.”
On a purely video standpoint, it looks pretty good. Originally shot on film it’s darned close to HD although the colors are a little lacking. If you look closely enough you can see the exact spot where Bob Crain’s head will be bashed in by the very same tri-pod used to film him stooping 15 year old runaways.
But all in all I’ve come to the conclusion that Werner Klemperer is one of my favorite actors of all time.

If you look in the upper-right hand corner of my page you’ll see a little box marked “Next Blog.” It’s a neat little tool that will randomly take you to someone else’s blog.
Seems interesting at first- ‘till you really get going.
For some reason 3 out of every 4 bloggers lives somewhere in South America, and they all seem to have some weird affinity for Henati Japanamation.
The other 25% are from Seattle.
About once a week I get utterly bored and surf blogs for a while, but I rarely find anything worth reading for more than 5 minutes. Really, all I need is linked to this page anyway.

… makes me wonder what someone stumbling across my diatribes must be thinking.

Interested in what to get Kirk for Christmas next year?
How ‘bout this behemoth- It’s the soon-to-be-released Harmon Kardon AVR740.
Weighing in at around 48 lbs and $4000, its well worth every penny. It’s got the DcDi by Farudga chip for up-converting video via DVI (freaking cool) and a whole slew of extras that can basically cook dinner for you. Oh, and not to mention the HCC at +60Amps- wow. All of that with transient intermodulation rate that is unmeasurable (take that Bose, you pieces of over-rated shit).
So for the two to three audio / video geeks who may or may not read this page, here’s the fun stuff-
Audio Stereo Mode Continuous Average Power (FTC) per Channel 100 Watts per channel @ <0.07% THD, 20Hz ? 20kHz, both channels driven into 8 ohms Seven-Channel Surround Modes, Power per Individual Channel Front L & R Channels 85 Watts per channel @ <0.07% THD, 20Hz ? 20kHz into 8 ohms Center Channel 85 Watts @ <0.07% THD, 20Hz ? 20kHz into 8 ohms Surround Channels (L & R Side, L & R Back) 85 Watts per channel @ <0.07% THD, 20Hz ? 20kHz into 8 ohms High Instantaneous Current Capability (HCC) ±60 Amps Input Sensitivity/Impedance Linear (High-Level) 200mV/47k ohms Signal-to-Noise Ratio (IHF-A) 100dB Frequency Response at 1W (+0dB, ?3dB) 10Hz ? 130kHz Surround System Adjacent Channel Separation Dolby® Pro Logic® I/II/IIx 40dB Dolby® Digital 55dB DTS® 55dB Transient Intermodulation Distortion (TIM) Unmeasurable Slew Rate 40V/µSec FM Tuner Frequency Range 87.5 ? 108.0MHz Usable Sensitivity IHF 1.3µV/13.2dBf Signal-to-Noise Ratio Mono/Stereo 70dB/68dB Distortion Mono/Stereo 0.2%/0.3% Stereo Separation 40dB @ 1kHz Selectivity ±400kHz, 70dB Image Rejection 80dB IF Rejection 90dB AM Tuner Frequency Range 520 ? 1710kHz Signal-to-Noise Ratio 45dB Usable Sensitivity Loop 500µV Distortion 1kHz, 50% Mod. 0.8% Selectivity ±10kHz, 30dB Video Television Format NTSC Input Level/Impedance 1Vp-p/75 ohms Output Level/Impedance 1Vp-p/75 ohms Video Frequency Response Composite and S-Video 10Hz ? 8MHz (?3dB) Component Video 10Hz ? 100MHz (?3dB) General Power Requirement 120V AC/60Hz Power Consumption 8.9W Standby 130W Idle, 1,480W Max. (7 channels driven) Unit Dimensions Width 17-5/16" (440mm) Height 6-1/2" (165mm) Depth 171/16" (435mm) Unit Weight 48 lb (21.8kg) Carton Dimensions 10.75"H x 20-1/2"W x 22-3/4" D (273mm x 521mm x 578mm) Shipping Weight (System, Accessories, Packing) 52 lb (23.6kg)

Character actor Vincent Schiavelli has died. Who’s Vincent Schiavelli you ask- well he’s that ‘not so attractive’ fellow that played (among other things) one of the crazies in “One Flew Over the Coocoo’s Nest,” the ghost on the subway in “Ghost,” Salieri's valet (the one who busts in on him when he cut his throat) in “Amadeus," and my favorites- two teachers, the math teacher in “Better Off Dead” and the biology teacher with the hot wife in “Fast Times At Ridgmont High.”
He really was a great actor, for the rolls he played. He seemed to fit this certain kind of mold that no one else could seem to fit. Think of him in whatever roll you can remember, then try to picture someone else in it. Doesn’t quite work huh?
For someone who really had a face for radio- this guy did quite well.

As many of you may know, my work schedule is the reverse of most, meaning I go in at 10pm and get out sometime around 9am. With that, most of my TV watching is done ‘till around noon.
Then interesting thing about commercials in that time frame is the high percentage of advertisements for work at home programs, title loans and ‘advanced’ degrees via U.S. mail.
Right.
It makes sense I suppose. Most those watching TV at that time aren’t exactly climbing the corporate ladder. Perhaps after hitting the afternoon bong these endeavors could actually seem like good ideas- just like rent to own.
Thank God for DVD’s. I got Volume III of ‘Family Guy’ for Christmas, so that ought’ a tide me over for a while.

Sorry ‘bout that. Hey, I’ve been working like a gillion hours and- You know, scratch that; way to adolescent for an opening line. Let’s try this again.
Sorry ‘bout the wait folks. My work schedule has me busier than a hummingbird on crack. Anyhoo, here’s the lowdown on the Christmas-
Brother came into town, nice to see him for the ½ a day that I get once a year. Really we just sat around and made fun of people who live great parts of their lives in denial. You just kinda gotta be there to see the conversation weave it’s way into the setting.
We got my mom some new flooring for Christmas. Her carpet is quite raggedy so we made her a certificate good for either carpet or laminate flooring. She’s going with the laminate, which is welcome as I can install that myself and save a boatload of cash.
Got Dad a buffer for when he waxes his new Jeep, but he already had one so it continently turned itself into a Home Depot gift card.
On my front the wife picked me out a class IV trailer hitch for the truck. Mind you, I don’t own a trailer, nor do I pull anything with my truck… yet. It’s a total testosterone gift and I’m quite happy with it. My brother got us a hammock; I am SO looking forward to using that.
Dad and his wife got us an outside, brass thermometer. Very nice.
Also my mom, the world’s busiest scrap booker, made me a scrapbook of my life- spanning all 25 –er 35ish years. It’s a good thing to have with all sorts of keepsakes.
So that’s the material holiday in a nutshell.
It was kind of weird not seeing any of ‘the guys’ that I normally see, but we’re mostly all married and have kids so it’s tough enough just fitting the immediate family into the schedule. Unfortunately for me, gift buying trips to the mall that somehow morph into 4 hour drinking sessions at Applebee’s just isn’t in the cards anymore.
Good, otherwise I’d have to be good all year so Santa could get me that new liver.

I'm working like 70 plus hours a week. That' s the life of someone in retail distribution. It's a great job, save two crazy months out of the year.
Anyhoo, I promise I'll be back to writing soon.
Really, I promise.