Radio Free Kirkopolis

From YahooNews

PRAGUE, Czech Republic - Pluto, beloved by some as a cosmic underdog but scorned by astronomers who considered it too dinky and distant, was unceremoniously stripped of its status as a planet Thursday…
The International Astronomical Union, dramatically reversing course just a week after floating the idea of reaffirming Pluto's planethood and adding three new planets to Earth's neighborhood, downgraded the ninth rock from the sun in historic new galactic guidelines.
The shift will have the world's teachers scrambling to alter lesson plans just as schools open for the fall term…
Pluto, a planet since 1930, got the boot because it didn't meet the new rules, which say a planet not only must orbit the sun and be large enough to assume a nearly round shape, but must "clear the neighborhood around its orbit." That disqualifies Pluto, whose oblong orbit overlaps Neptune's, downsizing the solar system to eight planets from the traditional nine…
Under the new rules, two of the three objects that came tantalizingly close to planethood will join Pluto as dwarfs: the asteroid Ceres, which was a planet in the 1800s before it got demoted, and 2003 UB313, an icy object slightly larger than Pluto whose discoverer, Michael Brown of the California Institute of Technology, has nicknamed "Xena." The third object, Pluto's largest moon, Charon, isn't in line for any special designation.

You know, we oughta do the same thing with the statehood of Delaware. I mean really, who needs Delaware?
When was the last time you thought to yourself “humm, I need a vacation. I could use some Delaware time.” When was the last time you were hungry and had a hankering for some authentic Delaware cuisine? Ever felt like a Delaware style pizza? Have you ever heard someone say, "Thank God we've got Delaware on our side?"
That’s it! Delaware, I’m coming after ya, so watch your back.