Friday, January 06, 2006
Finally, A Guy I’d Vote For (Now I Just Have To Move Back To Pennsylvania
One of my all-time heroes has decided to (or at least try to) do a little good and throw his helmet into the ring-
Pittsburgh, PA (Sports Network) - Hall-of-Fame and former Pittsburgh Steelers wide receiver Lynn Swann announced his candidacy for governor of Pennsylvania at the Heinz History Center in Pittsburgh on Wednesday night.
Gosh I’m giddy ‘bout this. Although I get the feeling that all of my Illinois campaigning may wind up to be fruitless (well, actually I’m quite positive of that) I vow to do whatever I can, like slogan writing- “I’m cutting through taxes like the Cleveland secondary.” Not bad huh? How ‘bout – “For several years I was able to communicate and make sense out of Terry Bradshaw, getting through to a Pennsylvania coal miner will be nooo problem.”
But let’s face it, the master of ballet doesn’t need any of my help, check out this quote from his announcement speech-
"I was drafted by the Pittsburgh Steelers in 1974, and tonight, I'm drafted by Pennsylvania to be governor," Swann said.
Oh dear God that’s genius.
Lynn’s qualifications, well he’s a USC graduate, served on some boards of directors, and is one hell of a sideline reporter. But who cares? You know what really matters? What’s his real and tangible qualification? HE’S LYNN SWANN!!!!
So Jason, tell your wife to take care of your new-born child, you’ve got better things to do. We’re packing a van and moving east so we can ‘Do Great And Vote 88.
Jesus wants you to vote Swann.
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Excellent synopsis of his qualifications. I've seen this announcement for a while and was wondering how I felt about seeing my brotha from another mother’s decision. Is he pulling an Ahhnn-nold? No, coherence lies with him. Oh, I know…he’s doing the Jesse “The Mind” Ventura route. No…no militia, cabin or manifesto.
Then it hit me. This man realizes since he has hands touched by God/Buddah/Jimmy Page, that he might as well put them to good use by signing some “unique” legislation. Like instituting a state-funded program for viewing of Terry Bradshaw movies, namely his genius in Cannonball Run and his oft overlooked role in Hooper. Plus, only allowing contestants in the Miss Pennsylvania pageant to enter who are prettier than Jack Lambert. This will separate the wheat from the chaff so to speak.
But yea…A simple state governorship is not enough for this king among men. Presidential Campaign Slogan: DON’T HATE…YOU REMEMBER 88...SWAN’S GREAT IN 2008.
"Yea, though the Hindus speak of Karma...I implore you...give her a break."
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Then it hit me. This man realizes since he has hands touched by God/Buddah/Jimmy Page, that he might as well put them to good use by signing some “unique” legislation. Like instituting a state-funded program for viewing of Terry Bradshaw movies, namely his genius in Cannonball Run and his oft overlooked role in Hooper. Plus, only allowing contestants in the Miss Pennsylvania pageant to enter who are prettier than Jack Lambert. This will separate the wheat from the chaff so to speak.
But yea…A simple state governorship is not enough for this king among men. Presidential Campaign Slogan: DON’T HATE…YOU REMEMBER 88...SWAN’S GREAT IN 2008.
"Yea, though the Hindus speak of Karma...I implore you...give her a break."
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