Radio Free Kirkopolis

So Who Are You People Again?

2010-02-21T10:11:00.002-06:00

Like, roughly 100 folks have been to this page since the great (well, somewhat sporadic) return. This almost makes me feel guilty about not updating as regularly as I'd like.

I Wish I'd Thought Of That... Oh, Wait- I Did!

2010-02-10T18:55:00.003-06:00

I can't tell you how many times I raised my fist in the air, wishing a pox on the fact that no one had invented sarcasm font yet (and God knows I wasn't going to do it). After all, if you've known me for anywhere over ten minutes you'd know that I'm all about the sarcasm. Of course, this usually boils over to my writing (emails, whatever) and most of the time folks get it... however occasionally someone will think I'm serious and an inevitable whirlwind of backlash ensues. BTW- shocking the correlation of those people and ultra-fundamentalist Christians.

So anyhoo, it seems that someone didn't really invent a font, but more of a new punctuation mark- admittedly a much better idea than my own.

Check it out here, via Geeklogie.

Tales From The Gym. Today's Episode: The Letdown

2010-02-09T15:45:00.002-06:00

So the plan was this- On my vacation (which really started at 3am last Friday) I was going to do a few things that needed done, switch my Edward Jones stuff, do my taxes, consolidate my student loans.... and spend a LOT of time at the gym.

You see kids, being on 2nd shift meant I had to go to the gym before work, usually needing to get there no later than 11a.m. Any past that and I was really rushing myself. None the less, I always felt rushed anyway. You know- work out, get home, take protein shake, eat, prepare lunch for work, shower, get ready, so I never really felt comfortable that I got in all the workout I needed (saving some energy for the 10 hour work day ahead).

But.. vacation time mean I could stay there all DAY.

So, snap back to the story at hand... Thursday rolls around and I awake to a sort throat. AWESOME! Just Freakin' AWESOME!

To me, a sore throat is a definite precursor to a nasty throat infection- without fail. By Friday it's killin' me. So, I run myself to urgent care and get the drugs I need. However, no gym at ALL Thrus-Sun. My body was just to weak from fighting the infection. Had I gone, the workout would have been crappy and I would have just stayed sick longer as my energy would have not been focused on the healing process.

Monday rolls around. Bench day. Big day. HUGE day. I'm still feeling a bit weak from the sickness, but the worst is passed. My training went pretty well, went up to 80#'s each on my dumbbell presses (normally I cash out at 70#'s) but only had energy in short bursts, which meant I had to compromise a bit on tricep training (5 or less reps I was good, but any more and I got really tired, really fast). But all in all a good day.

So- fast forward to Tuesday morning. Got up late (a vacationer's right) and was getting geared up for a HUGE day on back and biceps. Was feeling 100% at this point and was looking forward to spending as long as I wanted in the gym.

I was all awash in my blissfulness, doing some dishes, when suddenly my hand slips on a food processor blade and GASH! I slice my thumb open, from the bottom of the nail to the bend. CRAP! and it was deep too! Blood going everywhere. I can't really dress it right 'cause I only have one good hand with one good opposable thumb. Total chain of errors. I finally get it dressed and the bleeding (which it was doing a lot of) stopped, then I realized- there's NO WAY I can grip a bar today. Sure it sounds like I'm being a pussy (which I usually am) but I assure you this was a pretty nasty cut- so much so I contemplated getting a stitch, but cooler heads prevailed.

So- the gods are against me. Whatever is trying to keep me down this vacation is doing quite well at it. Jebus.. even at this point I'm typing and doing my best to hit the space bar with my left thumb- more difficult that one would think.

So, in short I'm gonna have to get my ass off the couch again and hit the gym, I figure I can do legs today, which is a good day (legs have been strong lately) but it does throw a wrench in my plan.

With that, I have no real whopping way to wrap this up... so instead I'll just end it.

Now, wasn't THAT a waste of your time!

The Great Un-retirement... By the Numbers

2010-02-08T14:04:00.001-06:00

38285 on the web counter... that's where I stand at the moment for them folks scoping out the page... lets see how this goes shall we?

I'm Being Very Sneaky

2010-02-08T14:01:00.001-06:00

So let us try this again shall we?

Used to be I was all about the blogging… and people seemed to like it. However, life and all its shenanigans (gosh I love that word) caught up to me and it went to the wayside. In the meantime I got in at ground level with Facebook and the rest of the world came with me. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a great way to keep up with folks, but it’s really just a web page for the fantastically lazy- right up my alley I suppose.

I tried to re-blog a few times, but the muse just wasn’t with me. So, instead I just did my thing, holding my words on the inside, relegating them to 20 words or less status updates (“Kirk Maroscher is rock and rolling all nite, while partying ev-ery day”). But, I’m in day one of a week’s vacation and I’m already bored out of my skull, so- trying this again. Also, when I return to work I’ll be on 1^st shift so that should give me a little more time to compose n’ such. The trick is that I’m not really going to advertise my resurgence; this is primarily for two distinct reasons-

1) Now that blogging is hardly cool anymore, I’m now cool for blogging just by default. Sort’a underground. I’m like the secret only the hip know about… at least that’s what I’m telling myself.

2) When the soon to happen inevitability of “I give up and stop writing” occurs- it won’t be such a letdown.

Really I should focus on #2.

..I can't remember, all the times I've tried to tell myself to hold on to these moments as they pass...

2010-02-08T13:47:00.002-06:00

I'm into food and wine in a big way, a really big way. I think of a meal as an experience. I could go into greater detail but that's not the point. Anyway, of all the meal's I've made... tonight's was by far the pinnacle.

Here's what went down- A side of asparagus. I drizzled it in olive oil, covered with some freshly ground pepper and course sea salt. Baked, came out very crispy. It was simple, but the natural taste of the asparagus was allowed to force through to the front of the palate.
Main dish was a porterhouse steak, nice marble- that I marinated in some Allegro, fresh minced garlic, and rosemary- grilled med. rare then topped with crumbled blue cheese that melted slightly.

Then.. the kicker. A while ago I came across a bottle of an '05 Cabernet Franc called- The Scrapper. Normally it runs about $100, but I got it for a steal at $60. It... was... perfect.... the greatest wine I've ever had (still have some left btw).

I pulled out an old Sergi Manniov -"Chopin Classics" c.d. (just piano, you don't want an orchestra diverting your attention). Lit up a fire, and it was ON!

Everything worked symbiotically with everything else. The side dish matched the main course, the wine crescendoed the food, the music accentuated the meal, the fire gave the ambiance... it was seriously- perfect.

Life, in its moments... is wonderful.

Suuuuper Genius

2008-09-12T09:55:00.002-05:00

The Cartoon Network is in H.D.Some may find this unnecessary, I disagree.
Carry on.

...As I Was Saying

2008-09-11T10:12:00.002-05:00

Well, as most anyone who checks the news daily (usually at work, on the clock, during that 45 minute period where you should be productive) knows, Lance is officially back.

After more than three years away from professional cycling, Lance Armstrong — the cancer survivor and seven-time Tour de France winner — announced Tuesday that he would emerge from retirement and climb back onto his bike.
Armstrong, who will turn 37 next week, spoke briefly about his decision in a videotaped statement posted on his foundation's Web site.
"Hey everybody, I know there's been a lot of reports in the media today about a possible return to racing," he said, wearing a white T-shirt and leaning toward what seemed to be a handheld camera. "Just want to let you know that after long talks with my kids, the rest of my family, a close group of friends, I have decided to return to professional cycling in 2009."…
…But first, Armstrong must find a team. Even the most talented cyclist cannot win on his own. Teammates provide shelter from the wind, chase down opponents and free the sport's stars from mundane, energy-sapping tasks like picking up water bottles from a team car.
The speculation has focused on the Astana team because of Armstrong's close connections to the team. Johan Bruyneel, whose holding company owns the team, was selected by Armstrong to direct the United States Postal Service team when Armstrong made his return to racing in 1999 after his cancer treatment. As a team director, Bruyneel was part of all of Armstrong's Tour de France wins.
Astana, though, is not guaranteed a berth in next year's Tour. The team was excluded from this year's race by the organizers because of doubts about the team's willingness to root out doping.
Philippe Maertens, a spokesman for Astana, said the team was unaware of Armstrong's announcement. He added that Bruyneel had been trying to reach Armstrong since Monday.

Translation: Armstrong will be racing for Astana. This is kind of a big deal. As it stands Astana is already composed of about 5 of the top 10 riders in the world, and the other 5 are kinda spread out so it suffices to say that their dominance will be out of this world. Plus, just them mere presence of Lance will push these guys even further than where they are now, even as a support role for Lance. Imagine for a second if say, Michael Jordan proved he could still play like in his prime, joined the Dream Team and said “Alright, LeBron, Kobe, here’s how I want you to back me up, and then we’ll win.”
Some folks are wondering if he should do it, and I’ll admit I have my reservations (although very few) myself. Mainly, if he doesn’t do well then the results could be very damaging. But the bottom line is this- Lance is a cancer survivor, to the extent where he was literally on his deathbed. Anyone, in my opinion, who has looked death that closely in the eye can do pretty much anything they damn well please. Lance, and those like him have earned that right 100 times over and for that he has my fullest support (yeah, that’s what he needs, MY support).

OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!

2008-09-08T18:29:00.003-05:00

LANCE IS BACK!
OOOOOOHHHHH BOY!
Well, maybe….

According to Velo News-

Lance Armstrong will come out of retirement next year to compete in five road races with the Astana team, according to sources familiar with the developing situation.
Armstrong, who turns 37 this month, will compete in the Amgen Tour of California, Paris-Nice, the Tour de Georgia, the Dauphine-Libere and the Tour de France — and will race for no salary or bonuses, the sources, who asked to remain anonymous, told VeloNews

O.K., so this may not actually be true, but the rumors have been flying around for some time. As a sport, this is a much needed shot in the arm. As one might remember, ever since Lance’s retirement the sport has been riddled by doping scandals and mismanagement. Granted, the doping scandals only prove that it’s not the dirtiest sport- but instead the most tested (really, could you imagine if MLB, NBA or the NFL tested EVERY athlete before, after and during an event for every substance know?), but I digress from the point.
As much as I’m just bursting at the seams to spew every thought and theory I have, I’ll just wait. We still need official confirmation ya know….

How To Make A Really Good Bowl Of Cream Of Wheat- Or- Why Do You People Continue To Let Me Waste Your Time

2008-09-07T18:09:00.002-05:00

Ingredients-

Cream of Wheat

Milk

Vanilla Extract

Coconut Flavoring

Pack of Splenda or Sugar

Brown Sugar

Raisins

First, follow the directions on how much Cream of Wheat mix and milk to use. I’ve found that the one serving is just enough for one person. I know this seems pretty obvious but serving suggestions can vary depending on the person. Now the directions call for either milk or water- sure you can use water, if you want it to be tasteless that is. So, use milk. I’ve found that even powdered milk can work pretty well.

Keep the heat somewhere around medium to medium high. On my stove that’s somewhere between 6 and 7, you don’t want it to high or the milk will burn at the bottom of the sauce pan. If you really want to speed up the cooking process you can put it in a medium sized sauce pan, this will allow for more of the liquid to be in direct contact with the heating element- surface area wise (didn’t know this would be technical did ya).

Stir occasionally, again to avoid burning the bottom of the milk (if you burn any of the milk, throw it away and start again- the burnt taste gets everywhere so you’ve pretty much ruined the whole enchilada). When you see it juuuusssstt starting to boil add the Cream of Wheat. Do this slowly while stirring or you’ll get lumps (unless of course you want lumps, which is perfectly acceptable).

While it’s cooking, add in a small splash of the coconut flavoring and just slightly more of the vanilla. Sure, you could measure it, but where’s the fun in that? Same thing with the sweetener. I use ½ a packet of Splenda for no other reason than its easy to measure. You could use sugar as well, just to taste.

Let it cook for about two minutes. After that, take if off the heat. It’s at this point you add the raisins. You don’t want to do that any time before or the raisins will cook too much and get all mushy. Adding just after removing from the heat will mean the Cream of Wheat will still be hot enough to cook the raisins, but not enough to ruin ‘em.

Let it set for a minute or so. Then you can poor it into the bowl. Add one dab of butter- not margarine. Trust me, there’s a noticeable taste difference between real butter and “spread.” Folks, butter is NOT expensive, so get some. Now you can also add the brown sugar. I just grab some to taste, but I would assume it’s about 2 tablespoons or so. I just add it to the bowl and in no time it makes this cool swirling effect that makes for a nice presentation.

Grab a cup of coffee.

Oh, I didn’t mention the coffee?

Here’s the trick(s) to a good cup of coffee.

First off, buy a good coffee. Sounds easy enough. I know Starbucks is passé, but the simple truth is they make a good product. Sure it’s expensive, but you get what you pay for. Lately I’ve been getting their Café Verona, it suits my criteria for a good coffee-dark and full bodied (much like my criteria for, oh never mind). I get the whole beans and grind ‘em up. Now I’ll concede that this is just too much for an everyday cup before work, but on the weekends when you have time, do it. Whole beans make a difference, let there be no arguing on that.

Lastly, when I make my coffee I always use water that I’ve run through my Brita filter. Tap water just won’t due. Everyone seems to forget this, but bad water makes bad coffee. Remember folks, there are two ingredients to a cup of Joe and coffee’s only one of ‘em.

On the side I like to have a little glass of orange juice. Now here’s the part where I show some restraint and not wax eloquently on some tangent about how there are just WAY to many choices in orange juice these days. Calcium, low pulp, high pulp, no pulp, heart healthy, low sugar…

I just want orange juice, how difficult can it be?

I Don’t Care If It’s Been 20 Years, I Both Despise And Fear Change

2008-09-05T10:54:00.002-05:00

I haven’t been to a High School football game in like 18, years. As a matter of fact I think the last one I went to was the year after I graduated- that would be 1990 for those trying into guess my age. Anyway, when I was in school the South Seven Conference consisted of Marion, Herrin, Mt. Vernon, Carbondale, Harrisburg, Murphysboro, and some sort of combination of Centralia, W. Frankfort and Benton.
It was nice. You had rivalries of close towns that made things interesting. I can remember a buddy of mine (a linebacker) dating a girl from W. Frankfort who’s ex boyfriend was their quarterback. Made for an interesting match-up. And that kind’a thing happened all the time. Now it’s all confusing. For the last several years the South Seven has morphed, composed of all sorts of towns like Cahokia. Cahokia? How can you have a rivalry with a town like Cahokia? It’s like 2 hours away! The farthest we ever had to go was once a year when we faced Paducah – Tillman. Not sure why, but we still visit P.T. I guess the athletic directors were just trying to broaden our horizons by introducing us to Kentuckians.
Back to my point- I was reading the paper this morning and, being a small area where most the folks live vicariously through their kids and take H.S. sports WAY to seriously, the paper had their weekly H.S. football preview. With that they included an overview of tonight’s Marion v. Highland battle of the giants. Um, Highland? Where the heck is Highland? Here are the directions they gave-

From Marion, take I-57 for 42 miles toward Mt. Vernon and stay left onto I-64 for 39 miles. Take Exit 34 toward Albers and turn left on Albers road.
Turn right on I-160 North for 17 miles and turn right on Broadway for one mile. Take a left on Poplar Street and enter the roundabout and take the second exit onto I-160. Turn left onto Troxler Avenue to get to the high school.

Are you kidding me?
I don’t want to sound like an old, complaining fart here, but ‘back in my day’ the directions to the game were “go to the Herrin football field- try not to start a fight.” Everyone just knew. Now, Highland? Whatever.
Like I said, I haven’t been to a game in a long time and frankly I’m not sure if I’ll ever go to another. Not that I don’t have any pride for my alma matter (they had a great season last year and I was rooting for ‘em) but I just don’t wanna be that guy that lives his life in his hometown’ bubble. Sure I still live in the area and really don’t care to move away, but a man’s gotta have his limitations. None the less, I just don’t see the point in what the ISHA is doing here. It would be like moving the Cubs and Cardinals into two separate divisions. Rivalries are one of the key ingredients to sport, why on Earth would you take it away?
Even way back when, I never pretended to have the slightest clue to what the ISHA was thinking at any given moment, you just sorta took them as a powerful organization hell bent on taunting the state with ludicrous decisions, but this is just goofy.

...As I Was Saying

2008-09-04T13:22:00.001-05:00

Now, I dig Facebook, after all it takes up all that time that I could be using for- I dunno, reading, studying, generally being productive, but my problem with it is how invasive the sidebar advertisements are. As best Facebook knows, every few hours I’m looking for BBW’s who are over 30. Not that I’m denying that I just in fact may be from time to time, but none the less it just gets annoying. However I do use the service an awful lot, and have connected or re-connected with some great people, and I haven’t paid a dime for it- so I suppose I can’t complain.

With that, I’ve always been under the belief that if you have something to say, then chances are someone’s said it much better. So, read on… From WashingtonPost.com

Fat? Stinky? Facebook ads hit where it hurts

Social networking site's ads target your psychological soft spots

By Rachel Beckman

Washingtonpost.com

My Facebook page called me fat.

Maybe it's my age, my sex or the fact that it knew I was engaged, but the site decided I was a gal who needed to drop a few pounds. And it wasn't shy about its tactics.

This was not a close friend taking me aside, telling me in gentle tones that she'd noticed I'd put on some weight and was there anything going on in my personal life that I needed to talk about?

, no. Every time I logged in to my home page, Facebook's ads screamed at me with all the subtlety of a drill sergeant: "MUFFIN TOP." This particular ad had a picture of someone with said affliction. For those blissfully unacquainted with the slur, it's when a woman wears too-tight jeans and a roll of flab hangs over her waistband.

I posted a status update that said, "Rachel doesn't appreciate her Facebook page telling her that she has a muffin top."

Facebook targets its advertising to users based on the information in their profiles. This is not a new concept, of course. Kids usually see toy ads while they watch Nickelodeon, and women get ads for birth control pills as they watch Lifetime.

But Facebook's data miners know much more about us because we tell them a whole lot more. Facebook knows my birthday, my relationship status and which book I'm reading, among other personal tidbits. The site started turning this information into dollar signs last November with the launch of Facebook Ads, which targets users' presumed areas of interest (or psychological soft spots).

Basically, the subliminal goal of product advertising is to make you feel inadequate and ashamed, because you're not perfect. Your teeth are yellow. Your armpits stink. You're fat. And hairy.

The targeting technology itself will be familiar to users of Google'sGmail, which generates ads based on what its users type in the body of an e-mail. TiVo and Netflix both suggest programming based on what you've been watching. (Remember the "My TiVo Thinks I'm Gay" episode of "The King of Queens"?)

Facebook spokesman Matt Hicks summed up the appeal to advertisers thus:

"If you're a wedding photographer, do you want to waste your money advertising to a general audience? Or do you want to reach those that are engaged?"

Provoking the bully
After my quaint status update about the muffin top ad, Facebook got even more vicious, like a schoolyard bully provoked by my initial reaction. With the knowledge that I was engaged to be married, the site splashed an ad across the left side of the screen playing into a presumed vulnerability. Do you want to be a fat bride? You'd better go to such-and-such Web site to learn how to lose weight before the big day.

I fought back harder. I clicked a little blue link that said "Report" and filled out a form.

A drop-down menu gave choices: Was the ad "misleading, offensive or pornographic?" I chose offensive. Facebook thanked me for the feedback and said it would take appropriate action, though I shouldn't expect any notification about this action.

Nothing changed. Facebook continued its onslaught of muffin-top and fat-bride taunts. I averted my eyes and tried to remember that saying about rubber and glue. I didn't spiral into a body-image crisis, nor did I start to diet. But there's got to be some kind of psychological toll wrought by so many weight-loss images each week.

I decided to investigate further, and obtained a document for advertisers called "Common Ad Mistakes." In it, I found this nugget:

"Text may not single out an individual or degrade the viewer of the ad." It even gave an example of a diet ad that uses unacceptable language: "You're Fat. You don't have to be."

Changes afoot
The muffin top ad is no more; whether the advertisers stopped using it by choice or by force, Facebook spokesman Hicks wouldn't say. There are other changes afoot at the site. Last month, it beefed up its advertising guidelines, in part to address the diet ads. Any ads that refer to health or medical conditions can go only to users 18 or older, and they must "present information without portraying any conditions or body types in a negative light."

Also in July, Facebook launched its new interface, which includes "thumbs up/thumbs down" buttons beneath ads so users can receive the ones that are more relevant to them.

I assumed that the diet ads would subside after I changed my relationship status from "engaged" to "married" in May. They did. I now receive these:

"Trying to get pregnant? Visit our site now. We're a national network of fertility specialists treating male and female infertility."

Thanks, Facebook, for calling me barren.

Self Portrait

2008-09-03T20:18:00.003-05:00

Oh Man This Is Good

2008-09-03T16:32:00.000-05:00

"In A World Gone Mad"

2008-09-02T17:31:00.001-05:00

That’s what I imagine him saying….
Don LaFontane, the Hollywood star most never knew they knew (read it twice, it’ll make sense) has died.
“Who’s Don some of you may ask?” He’s the guy that did all the vocieovers for movie trailers.
“Oh yeah, that guy.”

By RAQUEL MARIA DILLON – 2 hours ago
LOS ANGELES (AP) — Don LaFontaine, the man who popularized the catch phrase "In a world where..." and lent his voice to thousands of movie trailers, has died. He was 68. LaFontaine died Monday at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center from complications in the treatment of an ongoing illness, said Vanessa Gilbert, his agent.
LaFontaine made more than 5,000 trailers in his 33-year career while working for the top studios and television networks.
In a rare on-screen appearance in 2006, he parodied himself on a series of national television commercials for a car insurance company where he played himself telling a customer, "In a world where both of our cars were totally under water..."
In an interview last year, LaFontaine explained the strategy behind the phrase.
"We have to very rapidly establish the world we are transporting them to," he said of his viewers. "That's very easily done by saying, `In a world where ... violence rules.' `In a world where ... men are slaves and women are the conquerors.' You very rapidly set the scene."
LaFontaine insisted he never cared that no one knew his name or his face, though everyone knew his voice.
LaFontaine went on to work in the promo industry in the early 1960s. As an audio engineer, he produced radio spots for movies with producer Floyd Peterson.
When an announcer didn't show up for a recording session in 1965, LaFontaine voiced his first narration, a promo for the film, "Gunfighters of Casa Grande." The client, Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer, liked his performance.
LaFontaine remained active until recently, averaging seven to 10 voiceover sessions a day. He worked from a home studio his wife nicknamed "The Hole," where his fax machine delivered scripts.
LaFontaine is survived by his wife, the singer and actress Nita Whitaker, and three daughters.
His funeral arrangements were pending.

I DARE You Not To Be Moved By This

2008-08-31T21:23:00.003-05:00

It was Johnny's last video, he recorded it just before he left us. Originally an Nine Inch Nails tune, that he made his own. Trent Reznor is notorious about not letting people cover his work (wouldn't even let Weird Al do a parody) but he was smart enough to know when the man in black comes knocking, you better answer the door.
The video was nominated for Best Video of the Year at the VMA's and by all accounts from the powers that be at MTV, no one could understand why it didn't win- even with all that, it wasn't even in the rotation. But, genius is genius.

Just like most of the gifts Johnny left us, the beauty is in the simplicity.

There Are Things Both Seen And Unseen, And In Between Are The Doors

2008-08-31T16:03:00.005-05:00

BEFORE

Have you ever tried to install a pre-hung exterior door?
GOOD LORD!
To be honest, in theory it’s really not that difficult, in actuality it’s a job where, if all goes well, should take just under a half an hour...
…if all goes well.
If there’s one thing that makes me smart, it’s that I know that I’m not very smart. Therefore I take a lead from Abraham Lincoln and surround myself with people who know things that I don’t- and that’s a LOT of people.
So, I asked a friend of mine’s husband, who is a contractor, to give me a hand. For that, I am the newest member of MENSA.
The extraction of the old door was actually kinda fun. To do so you really need a reciprocating saw, which I didn’t have but boy oh boy was this a good excuse to get one, which I did and its a beast. A reciprocating saw (or recip saw as the cool guys call it) is one of those tools that once you buy one, you wonder how you ever got along without it (much like my air compressor- is there anything that thing can’t do?). Anyway, it’s a fun feeling to blast through old wood and nails when deconstructing your own house.
When installing the new door we ran into some issues that forced us to flanagle a circular saw to cut the rough opening about an inch around the sides and top (and again needed the recip to finsh the cuts), but this and other things were all stuff he had seen a million times before and knew how to handle- and THAT’S why you team up with experience.
Once the opening was clear, the new door just kinda slid right in, I ran a good bead of caulk across the bottom to keep out vermits, and shimmed it in just a few places, but it was mostly plum and level from the start. A few 10d, galvanized finish nails and a couple of drywall screws later and ‘wall-ah’ it was in.
Put two coats of paint on with a brush then finished with one coat via a 3 inch roller. I used the same exterior paint that I used for my house trim a few months back so the color matched perfectly. Then I just slapped on the doorknobs (which you need an equal amount of calm and patients for) and it was all done.
So- in summation, a few hints.
- When buying a new door, make sure your swing direction and size is correct. I was spooked to death that I miss-measured and would just be screwed. But most doors are a standard 34” or the more popular 36”.
- There are one or two screws or nails that hold the door shut for protection during shipping. TAKE THESE OUT. The door will not open while these are in and if you’ve already installed it while they are still secure, well then you either have to take the whole thing out or cut away at the frame with the recip saw. I know this because a guy at work, who knows what he’s doing, wasn’t paying attention and did this. Now that will lead me to my next hint-
- Do not drink while installing a door. You gotta get this just right. A poorly hung door is a pain in the butt for as long as you use it, so put the Blatz down for an hour or so. You can pop one open after to celebrate.
- Get help. I think I explained this one well enough.
- Don’t be cheap. This was difficult for me, because it goes against my very nature. But, if it’s an exterior door it usually can be quite a focal point on your entire house. Therefore, spend a couple of extra bucks and make sure you get one that you really like. I think you’ll be glad you did.

AFTER

Like I've Always Said, When You Can't Think Of Anything To Post, Just Throw Up A Cool Music Performance From YouTube

2008-08-25T17:56:00.002-05:00

...and if it somehow involves Johnny Cash (the coolest person to ever live- well, within the last 2000 years at least) then by defaault it'll be good.

...And One More

2008-08-25T17:41:00.001-05:00

Crackbook Just Sounds Funnier

2008-08-25T17:22:00.002-05:00

I'm hopelessly addicted to Facebook- its like MySpace, only it doesn't suck so much (unless you're a 14 year old girl, in which case MySpace is only the greatest thing EVER!). I have re-connected with a ton of people, mostly from High School, which is cool. However, like any social networking site it has a few landmines.
Here's a great parody, Crackbooker's will get it all to well.

Random Olympian I'm In Love With This Week...

2008-08-18T19:28:00.004-05:00

... world class hurdler Lolo Jones.

And Now The Nature Segment Of Our Program

2008-08-17T19:00:00.003-05:00

I have three hummingbird feeders and about six to eight hummingbirds that feed from them. I did a little searching and it turns out they are Ruby Throated Hummingbirds. Really, the only hummingbirds native to Illinois (for the most part). Amazingly enough they are some of the most aggressive little things I've ever seen. I'll be on my back patio and they sure as heck ain't afraid to feed right next to me- while I'm grilling none the less. In addition they fight each other like something out of a zombie movie. For such little guys, they only weigh about as much as three grapes, they just have an amazing set of (metaphorical) balls. I was talking to the previous owner of my house and she told me that she used to own a red cell-phone and it normal for them to go after it while she was talking. I guess they got little man's syndrome or something.
Anyway, I see them all the time here, just another thing I love about my neighborhood.

Again With The Vollyball??

2008-08-12T15:59:00.002-05:00

This just kills me....

...As I Was Saying.

2008-08-10T18:14:00.001-05:00

Apparently Google knows I have a brother.

Google Knows What Side Their Bread Is Buttered On

2008-08-09T12:14:00.004-05:00

A whole slew of sports to pay tribute to today, and what did Google choose?

Yup. They know what's good for 'em.

Opening Ceremonies- A Review (as if you asked)

2008-08-09T10:57:00.007-05:00

I’m a whore for over-glamorized celebrations of other people. No denying that dear people. For example, as much as love baseball, I’m more interested in the pre-game ceremonies than the game itself. But let’s face it, the mid-summer classic aint so classic.
None the less, once every four years I get seriously giddy over the Olympic ceremonies. By their nature, the Olympic ceremonies are the penultimate of wow factors. It’s a celebration with the financial backing of one of the highest GDP’s in the world- and it didn’t let down.
I’m not gonna lie, I was a little uneasy watching how perfect and flawless it went off. I had this little poke in the back of my head telling me “of course the performers are spot on, if they’re not- well, its ‘re-education’ time.” Make no mistakes about it, although we will be inundated with the notion of this being China’s “coming out party” that the country is still a fascist foothold of deplorable violations of our fellow man. I couldn’t help but to wonder if for every performer there was a “People’s Observer” looking for the slightest quirk.

None the less, it’s not about governments, or politics, or women’s beach volleyball uniforms (well, maybe a little), but it truly is about sport and the magnitude of the human endeavor. Sport truly is a wonderful thing.
So, here we go.
First off, I KNOW I’M WATCHIN N.B.C.!!! How on Earth can I not know that? It’s not like they don’t shove it down our throat every chance they get. None the less, when I’m watching a scene as awe inspiring as this-

I have to deal with a peacock logo in the upper, right corner of my screen. Thank God they had the good sense and restraint to not have a scrolling banner at the bottom telling me the latest news on Brent Favre. Knuckleheads.

I dig Bob Costas, always have. Even Matt Lauer did a pretty good job. I can’t recall the name of the China expert with them (I could look it up, but I, well- I just don’t want to) but it was a great idea to have him there as well. As good as Bob and Matt were, any attempt to tell us of the history of China (being portrayed in the ceremony) would have seemed, and in actuality been, contrived. It just flowed better. There’s no doubt that Bob is the aire apparent to the great Jim McKay, and I got no problem with that at all. He’s intelligent, well spoken, and pretty damn funny.

But what about the ceremony Kirk? Com’on we’re dyin’ here!
Well, frankly it was stunning. For the first time in a loooong time, I’m kinda speechless. They pulled it off wonderfully. From the eye dropping technology of the world’s largest L.C.D. screen (oh, freaking my!) to the simplicity of children singing, to one of the coolest torch lightings ever-

Lots of mixing with the old, Such as taking historical music to new levels-... as well as amazing new advances to in Beadazzeler technology-

All in all, a great thing to see. Now, on to the sport. The first day contains cycling- they must have known I was reporting. Well done Olympic organizing committee, keep RadioFree happy.

Dancing

2008-08-09T10:01:00.004-05:00

This is just great....
YouTube has some pretty ignorant stuff, there's no doubt. Outside of the Green Party's National Convention, a bigger waste of time has yet to be created. None the less, every once in a while something comes along that is worth every second of your time.
Let this load a while, and watch the WHOLE THING. Its really great.
Sometimes, our world ain't so bad.

...As I Was Saying.

2008-08-09T08:57:00.002-05:00

A few posts ago (yes, and it was eons ago as well) I was making my annual comment on how very necessary (very necessary) the women's beach volleyball uniforms were.

Well, apparently there are others who agree with me-

In Case You Were Wondering What I'll Be Doing This Weekend

2008-07-13T08:02:00.001-05:00

Gearing Up For The Games

2008-07-06T17:29:00.003-05:00

I still like the Olympic Games. Sure they’re commercialized, over hyped, politicized and many other things, but I think at the heart its still about the sports. What’s also nice is the games give me a chance to watch sports I only care about once every 4 years. Track and field is pretty darn nifty, but only so often. Same thing with swimming, gymnastics, volleyball, and even rhythmic gymnastics.
Anyway- here’s a brief primer of my take.

Tyson Gay’s last name is “Gay.” Get the jokes out now because they’re hardly funny as it is, let alone ad nausium.

We will all become sick of Michael Phelps advertisements. None the less it would be very cool to see him win eight golds.

USA Men’s Basketball will once again be very fun to watch, USA Women’s Basketball will once again not.

All athletes from Australia are inhumanly good-looking. Watch the opening ceremonies and you’ll see what I mean.

The American’s are fielding a very good cycling team (oh, like you didn’t know I was going to throw that in).

Synchronized diving is oddly intriguing.

…and last but not least, as I say every four years… Women’s beach volleyball uniforms are necessary-

VERY necessary.

OK, So I Lied (..and that will happen more times than not).

2008-07-05T14:01:00.002-05:00

Well I didn't lay about on the couch all day and watch le Tour, but instead I actually did go for a ride. Nothing much, just a little 30 mile jaunt through Crab Orchard to near Little Grassy. Haven't been able to hop in the saddle for a while due to my eye infection, but hoping for another nice ride tomorrow. We'll see.

Anyhoo, I took a pic near one of the creeks (or as we say in Southern Illinois, creak).

Once Again, Someone Who I Thought Was Already Dead, Has Died

2008-07-04T18:16:00.002-05:00

Jessie Helms was a horrible, horrible man. Make no mistakes about it. Sure he dabbled in having a heart, but in summation the only really good he did was inspire Dana Carvey to do a really funny impression of him. Anyway he’s dead at the age of 83.

Helms is perhaps best known for the "Hands" campaign ad televised during his 1992 race against Harvey Gantt, an African-American and former mayor of Charlotte. The TV spot show a pair of white hands crumpling a piece of paper that indicated the man's job had gone to a person of color.

He staked out his position on race and civil rights early in his career, when five-minute "Viewpoint" TV editorials made him well known throughout eastern North Carolina. In his book "Righteous Warrior: Jesse Helms and the Rise of Modern Conservatism," University of Florida history professor William Link said Helms used "Viewpoint" as a soapbox against what Helms considered as an intrusive federal government bent on racial equality. Helms, Link wrote, considered the Civil Rights Act of 1964 to be a blow to states' rights.

So no whining about him- got it! Instead, if you really want to honor a true, American hero, well then honor Larry Harmon who passed at 83.

Get To Know Me!

2008-07-04T13:44:00.002-05:00

So le Tour starts tomorrow (strangely enough, instead of riding I'll be laying about on the couch) and per usual, I have a prediction-

This years winner= Cadel Evans of Australia. No American winner this year, Levi and the Astana team won't be there (don't get me started) but we have a few time trial specialists that may take a few stages.

Now I know no one reading this is the slightest bit interested so please enjoy not watching it.

Go On Now, Get Yo' Nerd On

2008-07-04T10:38:00.002-05:00

Enjoy!

Say It Aint So (Well, Really We Knew It)

2008-06-30T20:11:00.002-05:00

I suppose I'm glad I never ordered that "Free Floyd" shirt huh? After two years, a lot of oddities, and on the heals of this year's tour (July 5th) Floyd Landis is finally solidified as a dirty cheater-

CAS delivers final blow to Landis legal challenge
Nearly two years after he stood triumphantly atop the Tour de France podium in Paris, Floyd Landis has seen his last hopes of regaining the 2006 title dashed when the Court of Arbitration for Sport (CAS) upheld his two-year suspension on Monday. The world's highest sporting authority also ruled that the American pay $100,000 costs to the US Anti-Doping Agency (USADA), in a case that has already cost both Landis and his opponents several million dollars.

Uber-Scientists May Soon Destroy The Universe- Michael Bay Currently Developing Screenplay.

2008-06-29T17:54:00.003-05:00

Um, this just might be the coolest thing EVER!
I will be very interested to see how many people will wigg out thinking that this actually could end the world, and how many of them also don’t use their cell phones at gas pumps and are scared to death of the bird flu.
As a general rule of thumb, any article that begins with "The most powerful atom smasher ever built" is gonna force me to get my nerd on in a big way. None the less, the coolness of it all can’t be done any justice by me, so I’ll just blockquote the whole article (thus begging the question, why did you link it in the opening paragraph?).

MEYRIN, Switzerland - The most powerful atom-smasher ever built could make some bizarre discoveries, such as invisible matter or extra dimensions in space, after it is switched on in August.
But some critics fear the Large Hadron Collider could exceed physicists' wildest conjectures: Will it spawn a black hole that could swallow Earth? Or spit out particles that could turn the planet into a hot dead clump?
Ridiculous, say scientists at the European Organization for Nuclear Research, known by its French initials CERN — some of whom have been working for a generation on the $5.8 billion collider, or LHC.
"Obviously, the world will not end when the LHC switches on," said project leader Lyn Evans.
David Francis, a physicist on the collider's huge ATLAS particle detector, smiled when asked whether he worried about black holes and hypothetical killer particles known as strangelets.
"If I thought that this was going to happen, I would be well away from here," he said.
The collider basically consists of a ring of supercooled magnets 17 miles in circumference attached to huge barrel-shaped detectors. The ring, which straddles the French and Swiss border, is buried 330 feet underground.
The machine, which has been called the largest scientific experiment in history, isn't expected to begin test runs until August, and ramping up to full power could take months. But once it is working, it is expected to produce some startling findings.
Scientists plan to hunt for signs of the invisible "dark matter" and "dark energy" that make up more than 96 percent of the universe, and hope to glimpse the elusive Higgs boson, a so-far undiscovered particle thought to give matter its mass.
The collider could find evidence of extra dimensions, a boon for superstring theory, which holds that quarks, the particles that make up atoms, are infinitesimal vibrating strings.
The theory could resolve many of physics' unanswered questions, but requires about 10 dimensions — far more than the three spatial dimensions our senses experience.
The safety of the collider, which will generate energies seven times higher than its most powerful rival, at Fermilab near Chicago, has been debated for years. The physicist Martin Rees has estimated the chance of an accelerator producing a global catastrophe at one in 50 million — long odds, to be sure, but about the same as winning some lotteries.
By contrast, a CERN team this month issued a report concluding that there is "no conceivable danger" of a cataclysmic event. The report essentially confirmed the findings of a 2003 CERN safety report, and a panel of five prominent scientists not affiliated with CERN, including one Nobel laureate, endorsed its conclusions.
Critics of the LHC filed a lawsuit in a Hawaiian court in March seeking to block its startup, alleging that there was "a significant risk that ... operation of the Collider may have unintended consequences which could ultimately result in the destruction of our planet."
One of the plaintiffs, Walter L. Wagner, a physicist and lawyer, said Wednesday CERN's safety report, released June 20, "has several major flaws," and his views on the risks of using the particle accelerator had not changed.
On Tuesday, U.S. Justice Department lawyers representing the Department of Energy and the National Science Foundation filed a motion to dismiss the case.
The two agencies have contributed $531 million to building the collider, and the NSF has agreed to pay $87 million of its annual operating costs. Hundreds of American scientists will participate in the research.
The lawyers called the plaintiffs' allegations "extraordinarily speculative," and said "there is no basis for any conceivable threat" from black holes or other objects the LHC might produce. A hearing on the motion is expected in late July or August.
In rebutting doomsday scenarios, CERN scientists point out that cosmic rays have been bombarding the earth, and triggering collisions similar to those planned for the collider, since the solar system formed 4.5 billion years ago.
And so far, Earth has survived.
"The LHC is only going to reproduce what nature does every second, what it has been doing for billions of years," said John Ellis, a British theoretical physicist at CERN.
Critics like Wagner have said the collisions caused by accelerators could be more hazardous than those of cosmic rays.
Both may produce micro black holes, subatomic versions of cosmic black holes — collapsed stars whose gravity fields are so powerful that they can suck in planets and other stars.
But micro black holes produced by cosmic ray collisions would likely be traveling so fast they would pass harmlessly through the earth.
Micro black holes produced by a collider, the skeptics theorize, would move more slowly and might be trapped inside the earth's gravitational field — and eventually threaten the planet.
Ellis said doomsayers assume that the collider will create micro black holes in the first place, which he called unlikely. And even if they appeared, he said, they would instantly evaporate, as predicted by the British physicist Stephen Hawking.
As for strangelets, CERN scientists point out that they have never been proven to exist. They said that even if these particles formed inside the Collider they would quickly break down.
When the LHC is finally at full power, two beams of protons will race around the huge ring 11,000 times a second in opposite directions. They will travel in two tubes about the width of fire hoses, speeding through a vacuum that is colder and emptier than outer space.
Their trajectory will be curved by supercooled magnets — to guide the beams around the rings and prevent the packets of protons from cutting through the surrounding magnets like a blowtorch.
The paths of these beams will cross, and a few of the protons in them will collide, at a series of cylindrical detectors along the ring. The two largest detectors are essentially huge digital cameras, each weighing thousands of tons, capable of taking millions of snapshots a second.
Each year the detectors will generate 15 petabytes of data, the equivalent of a stack of CDs 12 miles tall. The data will require a high speed global network of computers for analysis.
Wagner and others filed a lawsuit to halt operation of the Relativistic Heavy Ion Collider, or RHIC, at the Brookhaven National Laboratory in New York state in 1999. The courts dismissed the suit.
The leafy campus of CERN, a short drive from the shores of Lake Geneva, hardly seems like ground zero for doomsday. And locals don't seem overly concerned. Thousands attended an open house here this spring.
"There is a huge army of scientists who know what they are talking about and are sleeping quite soundly as far as concerns the LHC," said project leader Evans.

Ever Heard The Term "Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Man?"

2008-06-27T09:25:00.002-05:00

I first fell hopelessly in love with Keith Olberman way back when he anchored Sportscenter with Dan Patrick (remember, when Sportscenter was actual sports journalism, not sports tabloid journalism?- but I digress). Oh.... he was sooo witty and I've never seen anyone make so much out of Jose Canseco.
But then time rode out and now he's had his own gig on MSNBC for some time. He's not a liberal, no far from it, he just calls out ultra-conservatives (and the ultra-liberals as weel). You see, that's where the ultra-right is so knee jerk to react, if you point out the idiocy of say Bill O'Reilly (who's big break was "Inside Edition" by the way) or, God forbid, Ann Coutlter, well then you must be a bleeding heart liberal. Yet Keith will also aim at at the ultra-liberal as well, take for instance, any of about 98% of Hollywood who just LOVES to go on 'fact finding' missions. Boneheads.
Its obvious really. Structural conservatives are for the most part, just like structural liberals- they're sheep and just can't seem to realize it. This is why I shout "I'm a centralist" because I proudly have the ability to think for myself.
Anyhoo, this is where Keith is (and some others). He's had an ongoing feud with Bill O'Reilly for some time, not due to a ratings war as Fox would have you believe, but because Bill is such an amazing idiot.
This one is kinda long, but worth it. Keith does some openly opinionated commentary at the get-go, but when he gets to the facts it's kinda staggering. Bill's narcissism and ignorance stands clear for everyone to see and must lead to only one conclusion- if you're a fan of O'Reilly's then you are a big fat dummy.
Enjoy-

I Believe Those Young Whippersnappers Call This A "Shout Out"

2008-06-27T08:59:00.003-05:00

My old friend Ernie has come a seriously long way- not a household name yet, but he's patient... and if there is any justice in this world- it'll happen.
We were roommates for a year at SIU and of the endless volumes of people that have lived with me at one time or another, he may have been the most passive with all my drunken idiocy- and at SIU, there was A LOT of that. Funny, at that time he was really into a "Boyz 2 Men" kinda thing.
My how for we go....

Anyway you can also see more HERE and HERE.

Strike One Up for Felix Unger

2008-06-26T18:07:00.003-05:00

The amazing Jack Klugman won an important court battle recently regarding a decade's old contract for "Quincy M.E"

LOS ANGELES (Hollywood Reporter) - All Jack Klugman wanted was access to his decades-old "Quincy M.E." contract, which had been misplaced over the years. And on Wednesday, that's exactly what a Los Angeles judge gave him.

In a one-page tentative order, Judge Gregory Alarcon ruled that the show's producer, NBC Universal, should provide Klugman access to the papers, the same ones NBC offered to him six months ago.

The veteran actor sued NBC in March, seeking a court order allowing access to the contracts.

This really raises a staggeringly important legal question- "Didn't Jack Klugman die like 5 years ago?"

...And Then He Went Home And Had Sex With Faith Hill

2008-06-25T22:08:00.002-05:00

I thought this was kinda cool. Seems Tim McGraw saw a guy assaulting a woman and when security didn't respond quick enough he took it upon himself to step in. Even better is that he just kept on performing like nothing happened- and since has been pretty humble about the whole thing. As much as I want to hate Tim, its stuff like this that makes it pretty difficult.

*Shit!

2008-06-23T19:40:00.004-05:00

*Ironically this is one of the Seven Words You Can't Say On Television.
But with that, his take on "stuff" is my favorite. Enjoy-

God, I LOVE this guy!

Alright, Alright, Alright....

2008-06-23T17:26:00.004-05:00

How does one who makes their living as a paparazzi sleep at night? Why does it not shock me that most of these guys are French? Granted, most of the "surfers" in these videos are just beered up pre-pubed punks, but none the less I LOVE watching this. I only wish I'd been there, a totaly worthwhile misdemeanor if you ask me.
As a side note, although Matthew McConaughey was in no way involved in this, I'm just guessing he had something to do with getting these guys some "massively wicked bud yo."
Enjoy-

Hummmm

2008-06-23T17:18:00.001-05:00

I kinda feel like writing again, yet this time with better spelling.

Drunk Driving Is Never A Joke, Nor Is It Something To Laugh About- Unless It Involves Bill Murray

2007-08-23T10:38:00.000-05:00

Bill Murray Arrested for Drunk Driving in a Golf Cart
Hollywood star Bill Murray has been arrested on suspicion of drunk driving in a golf cart in the Swedish capital Stockholm. The actor was stopped by police in the early hours of Sunday and alcohol was smelled on his breath, according Stockholm police detective inspector Christer Holmlund. Holmlund says, "He refused to blow in the (breath test) instrument, citing American legislation. So we applied the old method - a blood test. It will take 14 days before the results are in." Murray - who is in the city attending a golf tournament - signed a document admitting driving under the influence and permitted a police officer to enter a guilty plea on his behalf if the case goes to court. The 56-year-old will only be charged if his blood alcohol level is higher than the legal limit. If it is excessively high he could face a prison sentence - but a fine is more likely. Holmlund adds, "There were no obvious signs, like when someone is really tipsy." The officer claims mystery surrounds the golf cart and who owns it - although Murray isn't facing theft charges: "It was a golf cart. How it ended up in this predicament I don't know. I have done this since 1968 and I've never experienced anything like this."

Dear Sabine, My Visa Card Is Counting On You

2007-08-19T07:52:00.001-05:00

Yes you, the Overstock.com girl, the one who when your commercial comes on guys always kinda stop what they are doing to watch. Yeah, you who’s name I just discovered is Sabine Ehrenfeld, with that smile, them eyes, the red hair, the German accent that somehow seems exotic and not guttural- yeah, you. Hope you’re not pulling off some sort of ruse on me, lest you be a foul siren for the internet shopping cartel.
So far I’ve gotten a 3” memory foam topper with two contour pillows for $120 and a complete bed in a bag set for $130, delivered.
Ordered ‘em last night so we’ll see how and when they arrive. If everything checks out I’m sure you’ll be hearing more about it. The prices are really quite good on that site and the delivery is always just a dollar. That’s important, as anyone who’s ever “saved” money on eBay can tell you; the delivery is where they stick it to you.

Random Images From The Vault

2007-08-18T17:52:00.001-05:00

When I was a very small boy,
Very small boys talked to me
Now that weve grown up together
They're afraid of what they see
Thats the price that we all pay
Our valued destiny comes to nothing
I can't tell you where were going
I guess there was just no way of knowing

I used to think that the day would never come
I'd see delight in the shade of the morning sun
My morning sun is the drug that brings me near
To the childhood I lost, replaced by fear
I used to think that the day would never come
That my life would depend on the morning sun...

B.S.

Hey Arby's- What The F**K??!!!

2007-08-17T16:48:00.000-05:00

Went to Arby's today, only to find out that they no longer offer french fries- just curley fries.
Are you kidding me with this?

Max Roach

2007-08-17T10:44:00.001-05:00

Jazz musician Max Roach has died in a New York City hospital following a long illness. He was 83. The drummer, who is credited as one of the jazz stars who created the bebop style, passed away in his sleep in a Manhattan hospital on Wednesday night, according to Blue Notes Records spokesman Cem Kurosman. During his long career, Roach played with Duke Elllington, Charlie Parker, Dizzy Gillespie, Coleman Hawkins, Miles Davis and Clifford Brown. Roach is survived by his five children Daryl, Raoul, Maxine, Ayl and Dara.

Who’da Thought That A Normal Life Would Be So Difficult?

2007-08-13T20:05:00.000-05:00

For the past 3 years or so, I’ve been having to go to bed (or at least attempt to go to bed) at around 3pm on Sundays. As regular visitors of Kirkopolis know, I’ve been working 3rd shift which means I have to be up by about 10:30pm to be there by 11:30 p.m. Well, as of Monday I’m on the dream shift- a.k.a. 1st shift. It sure sounds sweet, 5am to 3:30ish M-Th. The problem is, my body is soooo used to going to bed early on a Sunday that my mind is completely wigging out at the moment. Well, more so than normal I suppose.
It’s a nice shift, I get up early enough to beat the staggering Southern Illinois traffic (inside joke to those who know) but anymore I’m a morning person anyway. Plus, during the hot days, like now, when its to much to ride safely I can still hit the gym after work before the 5 o’clock crowd hits and really starts to annoy me.
Anyhoo, got some other news in the works, but I don’t want to jinx myself so I’ll tell ya all about it in a week or so (ohhhh, intrigue).

I Used To Think That Shakira Couldn’t Possibly Get Any Hotter- I Was Wrong, So Very, Very Wrong

2007-08-11T16:11:00.000-05:00

Iterum Solitas

2007-08-05T13:15:00.001-05:00

It’s funny. When you encounter a moment that you want to remember, and you tell yourself to hold on to all of it, remind yourself to make note of the details so you can paint the picture when the moment is right. We do that with the moments that we never want to forget, or even with the moments we never wished had to happen.
Then there are the moments that are so encompassing, even in their subtleties, that you know they will be engraved in soul until the day of your passing. You don’t have to remind yourself to hold on to any of the memories; your mind will do that by sheer default.
But you remember not necessarily the larger scope- the date, the current newsworthy events, peripheral parties involved- but rather the smaller details. The things you somehow failed to notice before.
You remember the way she needed a red marker, and you handed her brown- three times, only to be corrected with sigh- three times.
You remember that all her play horses were girls, because girls rule.
You remember the frilly, white dress, perfect in its innocence, and how she asked you to re-tie the back because her arms weren’t long enough.
You remember how you didn’t realize how hard it was not to cry because you were too distracted with the notion of good bye.
You remember how her little arms fit so snuggly around your neck until you handed her off…
..and then you remember how at that moment you realized how much better they fit around her mother’s, and that they both would be just fine, perfect in a beauty that no artist will ever do justice.

Then you walked off, into the sunset, journeying on, alone again.

Like Looking Into A Mirror

2007-08-04T11:16:00.001-05:00

And Again The Stars Have Aligned, Pouring Upon Us The Evil And Tragedy We All Feared

2007-08-04T11:02:00.000-05:00

When Rosie left “The View” I saw that the unholy marriage of the two axis of evil was over and assured myself that it couldn’t get any worse.
It has…

Barbara Walters announced on Wednesday morning's chatfest that Whoopi Goldberg has been chosen to succeed the long departed Rosie O'Donnell as moderator of the femme-fueled talk show when it officially kicks off its 11th season Sept. 4.

I have an untamable urge to read the book of Job.

Some Folks Just Do It Right

2007-08-04T10:49:00.000-05:00

From YahooNews

BALTIMORE (AP) -- Umpire attendant Ernie Tyler will voluntarily end his consecutive games streak at 3,769 to see another man known for his ability to show up to work every day: Cal Ripken Jr.
Tyler hasn't missed a Baltimore Orioles home game since assuming the position on opening day in 1960. This weekend, however, he will skip the Orioles' two games against the Yankees to be in Cooperstown, N.Y., to see Ripken's induction into the Hall of Fame.
The 83-year-old Tyler will be going as a guest of Ripken, who will pay the bill for the entire weekend.
Ripken, of course, played in 2,632 straight games before voluntarily ending his streak in 1998.
"I saw him when he was 12 years old. I knew his father well," Tyler said Thursday. "What better time to do it than to go now? When I heard he wanted me to go to Cooperstown, how could I say no? The streak doesn't mean that much when you're thinking about your relationship with the Ripken family."
Unlike Ripken's streak, Tyler's was comprised solely from regular-season home games. Throw in exhibition games, the postseason and the 1993 All-Star game, and Tyler will have worked 3,819 successive games before leaving for New York on Saturday.
Tyler can appreciate the irony of having his streak end to see Ripken, who also had the opportunity to determine when to finally sit down.
"If I were ill or got hurt, there might be some remorse," Tyler said. "But under the circumstances, there are no regrets whatsoever. I thought about it for two weeks now, and I'm just overwhelmed and honored to go up there with him."
Tyler won't be at Camden Yards this weekend, but his sons will carry on for him. Jim Tyler is the Orioles clubhouse manager and Fred Tyler tends to the visitor's clubhouse. Ripken asked them to go too, but they couldn't leave because the Yankees are in town.
Ripken had a few close calls in keeping his streak alive, most notably when he twisted his knee trying to break up a 1993 brawl with the Seattle Mariners.
Tyler had some health problems along the way, but the most serious issues occurred during the offseason.
"I had an operation for liver cancer in January 1995," he recalled. "The doctor said, 'Don't worry, Ernie, your streak wont go by the wayside. I'll have you back in April."
Tyler has also had a gall bladder removed and a hernia operation -- both during the winter months.
"God's been on my side, I guess," he said. "One morning I had to say rosary to get out of bed. Sometimes you just don't want to go, but you've got to."
Every home game for 47 1/2 years, Tyler has rubbed up baseballs for umpires and tended to their every need.
"I never thought of it as a streak. I just thought of it as seeing a ballgame," he said. "It's better than being around the house all day, helping with the dishes or mowing the lawn."

Distant Early Warning

2007-08-03T19:44:00.000-05:00

Left and rights of passage

Black and whites of youth

Who can face the knowledge

That the truth is not the truth?

Obsolete

Absolute

The world weighs on my shoulders

But what am I to do?

You sometimes drive me crazy

But I worry about you

I know it makes no difference

To what you're going through

But I see the tip of the iceberg

And I worry about you

N.P.

Herd, Meet Kirk. Kirk, This Is The Herd.

2007-07-28T14:59:00.000-05:00

Giving into the pressure of, well everyone, I bit bullet and set up a Myspace account. I’m not sure why I did it, but I was just kinda bored one day and went to it. Now, I’m not sure how you can ingest crack via a keyboard, but apparently you can ‘cuz this thing is just plain old addictive.
First it started out with what kind of background do I want? Turns out there are literally thousands to choose from and I just didn’t even know where to start. I ended up with this kind of “Pulp Fiction” kind of thing that I’m sure I’ll change a thousand times within a few days. In addition you can put all sorts of music on there. My current playlist can allow for about 70 songs and of course I’m going bananas trying to figure out what to put on and in what order. My OCD is not enjoying this at all! In addition to getting everything just right, your page is kind of a reflection on yourself and therefore I’m just all so nervous about how it looks. It feels like going to a place you’ve never been before and not sure about what to wear.
I’m not doing this to meet that “someone special” (need that like I need a hole in the head), or to even catch up on old friends. As a matter of fact I’m not sure why I’m doing it. I suppose its just another path to take other than the constructive or useful.
Anyhoo, check it out if you get a chance. Oh, and if you’re a 60+ year old convicted sex offender, don’t tell me you’re a lonely 22 year old co-ed.

http://myspace.com/kirkmaroscher

Happy Fun Ball

2007-07-25T13:20:00.000-05:00

-only $14.95-
Warning: Pregnant women, the elderly and children under 10 should avoid prolonged exposure to Happy Fun Ball.
Caution: Happy Fun Ball may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds.
Happy Fun Ball Contains a liquid core, which, if exposed due to rupture, should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at.
Do not use Happy Fun Ball on concrete.Discontinue use of Happy Fun Ball if any of the following occurs:
Itching
Vertigo
Dizziness
Tingling in extremities
Loss of balance or coordination
Slurred speech
Temporary blindness
Profuse sweating
Heart palpitations If Happy Fun Ball begins to smoke, get away immediately. Seek shelter and cover head.
Happy Fun Ball may stick to certain types of skin.
When not in use, Happy Fun Ball should be returned to its special container and kept under refrigeration...
Failure to do so relieves the makers of Happy Fun Ball, Wacky Products Incorporated, and its parent company Global Chemical Unlimited, of any and all liability.
Ingredients of Happy Fun Ball include an unknown glowing substance which fell to Earth, presumably from outer space.
Happy Fun Ball has been shipped to our troops in Saudi Arabia and is also being dropped by our warplanes on Iraq.
Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball.
Happy Fun Ball comes with a lifetime guarantee.
Happy Fun Ball
ACCEPT NO SUBSTITUTES!

Goodbye, Farewell, And Amen

2007-01-13T10:21:00.000-06:00

Jim Brown is considered the greatest running back of all time, yet he played only nine seasons.
I say 'only' because his incredible durability (he never missed a game) would have allowed him to play five or six more seasons- and all successfully. Instead, Jim pulled the plug at the apex of his career, going out on top and more importantly- on his terms.

I like Jim Brown.

So, now that I've got the sports reference out of the way, I suppose, for one last time, I should stick to the RadioFree m.o. and quote myself a movie-

"The biggest trick the Devil ever pulled was in convincing the world that he didn't exist. And like that… he was gone."

Thank you all very much.

-K

That Herman Munster Was One Lucky Fella

2007-01-11T13:42:00.000-06:00

Although we all remember her as Lily Munster, she had a pretty impressive film resume- including playing the wife of Moses (Charlton Heston) in “The Ten Commandments.”
Yvonne passed away yesterday at the age of 84, and she probably looked like a million bucks all the while.

Someone Named Kirk’s Got Himself A Birthday Coming Up…

2007-01-11T05:33:00.000-06:00

…and you just may need some gift ideas.
From Bloomberg.com

Beatles `Guitar' Lyrics May Fetch $775,660 at Arizona Auction
By Linda Sandler
Jan. 10 (Bloomberg) -- A handwritten lyric of the Beatles song, ``While My Guitar Gently Weeps,'' will be offered for about $775,660 by Cooper Owen at a U.S. sale on Jan. 15.
George Harrison's words to the song, which was recorded in 1968, reveal the strains within the band at the time, the auction house said in a statement. The lyrics will be sold as part of a memorabilia auction in Scottsdale, Arizona.

Expect The Unexpected

2007-01-09T14:53:00.000-06:00

So I’m getting the logistics down and I’m thinking sometime late this Friday, or early on Saturday.
Check back and stay tuned.

Funny You Should Mention

2007-01-09T14:38:00.000-06:00

So Corey wrote back to one of my recent posts (of which I don’t feel like linking so you'll just scroll down, work with me here people) and I decided to retort.
What he said (and said very well I might add, he’s a bright guy) is in red, while my words are in blue-

Is your Top 10 Band list "In Order"?If so, I'm pretty sure the guys from the Police and the Who would remind you of a band called the Rolling Stones. If you don't like them I understand, but they can't really be left of a list like this, can they?

Yes, it’s in order, and the Rolling Stones would be on it, if it were titled say, The Top 15 to 20 Bands… Sure Exile On blah, blah, blah Street was one of the greatest albums of all time, but you can’t base an entire career on one album- otherwise “Nevermind” and “Pretty Hate Machine” (and maybe even “Master of Puppets”) would change everything. It’s kind of like why Roger Marris isn’t in the Hall of Fame- not enough good stuff over the whole enchilada.
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again- The Stones were always one step behind The Beatles.

I like the opening lyrics list idea quite a bit.

Gosh, thanks. I’m flattered."

Load Up On Guns and Bring Your Friends, It's Fun to Lose and to Pretend" -Smells Like Teen SpiritIt's been over 15 years for that tune, and whether you like it or not, that song kicked the industry in the nuts, and killed Hair Metal.

Damn well right!!! Only thing is most people don’t know those are the opening words to that song because very few people can understand what the lyrics actually are- almost as inaudible as "Louie, Louie". If I did best chorus or even more importantly, best closing line, this would be number one on both accounts. (oh well, whatever, nevermind).

"She was a girl from Birmingham, She just had an abortion, She was case of insanity, Her name was Pauline she lived in a tree"- Bodies (Sex Pistols)I love the Pistols. I should have probably put the opening to "Anarchy in the UK", but that's too predictable, and honestly, neither should really be in the Top 10.

I almost put “I am an antichrist” but I had to make way for “Rock Around the Clock.” Really, I could go either way.

…so there!!!

Random Images From The Vault

2007-01-09T14:26:00.000-06:00

When I despair, I remember that all through history the ways of truth and love have always won. There have been tyrants, and murderers, and for a time they can seem invincible, but in the end they always fall. Think of it--always.
Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi

Expect The Unexpected

2007-01-06T11:25:00.000-06:00

Currently, I’m twisting my mustache (figuratively of course, I’d look rater silly in a mustache) and hatching a plan concerning the ranch- that’s Kirkopolis for the un-initiated.
I think you’ll get a kick out of it… so stay tuned.

...I just like to keep y’all on your toes.

2007-01-04T15:44:00.000-06:00

The Only Thing Inappropriate About This Is The Poor Quality Of The Video

A few thoughts…
First of all, capitol punishment is NOT a deterrent, but I don’t think (at least in this case) it’s really intended to be in the first place. Rather, it’s sweet justification for victims. Example: a person kills someone I love- smoke ‘em. Sure, murders will continue to take place (are you listening NRA wackos?) but I will feel some closure, if not somewhat justified. Trust me; we’ll get more fascist dictators after Saddam’s execution, just like we did after Julius Cesar, Mussolini, Nicolae Ceausescu….

Next- everyone is making this big hub-bub about the taunting that our buddy received just prior to the drop. Umm, if you’re one of those people then I must say you have some of the most FUCKED UP (no, I’m not going to censor that word this time) priorities I’ve EVER FUCKING HEARD OF!!! Good gravy, what’s the matter with you? In addition you have just heartlessly trivialized every one of the thousands (yup, thousands) of people who are dead because of him. Imagine for a moment you could witness the execution of say, Hitler circa 1940ish. Standing next to you is a Polish Jew. Suddenly the Polish gentleman yells “You’re getting what you deserve you closeted, one testicle, horrible artist, freak!” Would you roll your eyes at him and mutter “how droll and inappropriate, the nerve of some people.”? Well, no you wouldn’t- because that would be stupid, right? Now apply that same train of thought to the execution of the modern day Hitler (which Saddam undoubtedly was).
I hate to throw “bleeding heart liberal” around as a derogatory term, but in this case it suffices.
Nope, the only problem I have with the taunts is that it made him look almost dignified by comparison to the crowd- but let’s keep things in perspective here folks, lest we forget the proceeding thirty years prior to this event.

Lastly, please allow me to get all Oliver Stone on ya.
Everyone seems to be pointing fingers about how cell phone cameras (this isn’t the only video by the way) got past ‘security.’ After all, this was supposed to be a confidential event- right. Anyhoo, all finger pointing seems to be going in a big circle where all blame is perpetually passed, and will continue to do so until this blows over- which given the American attention span should be, oh sometime early next week.
My theory is that someone, be it the Iraqi government, Karl Rove, Deep Throat, the Tri-Lateral Commission, William Shatner, whoever… totally intended for this to be filmed then leaked out.
Frankly, I’m glad someone had the foresight.
Up until a few years ago people still thought Hitler was alive. Why? Well, because they’re nuts, but also because only a few Russian solders saw a body. See, most residents of the happy land we call the Middle East are fairly uneducated, with a jaded mind due to years of totalitarian propaganda. So, given that combination it’s not too much of a stretch for most of the population to think that he somehow made it out, and is only hiding out somewhere, scheming and plotting his next move.
Yeah, pretty sure this was no bungle, but a calculated plan.

So, call the kids and invite the neighbors, pop some corn and watch the man get his just deserts.

Oh, and before you start thinking I’m getting out of moderateville, swaying myself to the right, remember one thing- the Bush administration uses stuff like this very well to make us all forget that they can’t find a 6 foot diabetic somewhere within a 300 mile radius of the Afghan / Pakistani border.
Damn bunch of incompetent, jack-asses- McCain would have that guy toasted in a week.

What The F**k Is Going On With My Sidebar?

2007-01-01T15:06:00.000-06:00

Just ten seconds ago, everything was fine. Then BAM! All I got on my sidebar is the title of a post I put up today.
If I ever bothered with code this wouldn't be much of a problem. But as it stands, I could care less. Somethimes with Blogger, these things have a way of working themselves out.

Update: Fixed it... that'll teach me to put things in bold, bullet point and center text all in the same post.

This One Goes Out To All The CorDawgs In Da House

2007-01-01T14:58:00.000-06:00

At one time my friend Corey had one of the greatest web pages of all time- no kidding. It was one of the best pages I’ve ever seen. Anyway he ran a bunch of lists and discussion boards about all things pop culture related, but most of all music.
Well, a few weeks ago I couldn’t sleep so I came up with two top ten lists (much in the way Corey’s page did) and I jotted them down. It made me think of my old friend, and ironically enough he contacted me a few days after. It was good to hear from him again and I decided to post up the lists.
Now, bear this in mind- I wrote these without much sleep and even less thought, ergo these are living documents, that is to say I reserve the right to change my mind at any time. Alter them and flip-flop as much as I wish. However, feel free to comment away on content.
Enjoy- and let the debates begin…

Top Ten Bands in Rock And Roll History
1. The Beatles
2. The Clash
3. The Beach Boys
4. Led Zeppelin
5. The Police
6. The Who
7. Black Sabbath
8. Beastie Boys
9. U2
10. Radiohead

Top Ten Opening Lyrics In Rock And Roll History
1. It was 20 years ago today- Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band
2. Hey, hey mamma say the way you move- Black Dog
3. I read the news today oh boy- A Day In The Life
4. Welcome to the jungle, we got fun and games- Welcome To The Jungle
5. One, two, three o’clock, four o’clock rock- Rock Around The Clock
6. Are you ready- Blind
7. How many roads must a man walk down- Blowing In The Wind
8. People try to put us down- My Generation
9. Warden threw a party in the county jail- Jailhouse Rock
10. We all came out to Montreux- Smoke On The Water

Nope, Not Dead

2007-01-01T13:46:00.000-06:00

Why is it everyone who’s been off the keyboards for a while feels compelled to let people know they aren’t dead?
I work retail distribution people, I just let go of a piss from mid-October so what makes you think I have time to comment on Saddam’s execution. Dude’s dead- ‘nuff said.

So, a recap-
Got some pretty good loot this Xmas. Oh, BTW the X in Xmas is NOT some sort of ‘taking Christ out of Christmas’ thing. As a matter of fact the X is the Greek Chi which is how the early Christians spelled Christ- so relax folks.
But I digress…
Scored me some pretty good gift cards for Sears and Home Depot- I can always use those. Tools just make me all quivery inside, and with ensuing house projects the domestic muse is upon me. Well, I did spend part of the Sears card on this kick-ass percussion massager (no, not that kind of massager you sicko’s) that is like a little slice of Heaven.
Also got a lot of Under Armor stuff to work out in. Sure I look a little goofy in it, sure it’s trendy, but doggone it, I loooove the stuff.
Mom got me some nice clothes, which being one of the essentials of life are things that I need. She also got me a spatula- seems funny but it’s a really nice spatula. I’m big on cooking.
Dad got me a decorative, handmade bowl. Very chick and will never house bean dip, rather it will go on a shelf for lookin’ at purposes.
Someone else (who? Who else?- wouldn’t you like to know) got me some great hoodies. Good gravy I’m a fan of the hoodies- the perfect, all purpose, winter attire- some nice Polo shirts (the actual Polo brand, not the Polo style) and other various cool things (also got the Under Armor and Sears card, but it had a better flow when mentioned in another paragraph).

I suppose this is the climatory equivalent to talking to a pitcher during a perfect game, but here it is January 1st and I’ve yet to put on my winter coat.
This is swell. I really hate the cold, and especially the snow, but thankfully it’s been a pretty mild winter so far. Usually, ‘round here things tend to warm up around March so essentially the winter is ½ over and it has been quite enjoyable.
It did this kind of rain / sleet thing all day on Christmas, but seeing as if it could have snowed all day instead I was not complaining.
I think white Christmases are over-rated. We can probably all blame that song. Before that we just dreamed of just Christmas, and would probably rather of had them be in the mid-sixties, but then Irving Berlin had to go and write “White Christmas.”
How ‘bout “I’m dreaming of a Dewar’s and water Christmas?” That I’d enjoy.

I just noticed the other day that good ol’ Stiegfried made her way back into the circuit. Glad to see ya girl. For that matter, Jams has been keeping up the good work as well. Oh and for that matter still, Matt has moved his page. I’ll update the link when I get the energy.

Gerald Ford kicked ass. I’m not sure that’s an appropriate statement but dammit, it’s how I feel about the guy. I’ve been expecting this for a while, but none the less I was sorry to see him go.

I’m not going to comment much on James Brown. The guy was just WAY to influential to American music for me to do him any justice. Instead, just read any number of Bio’s on him, I’m sure they’re much better than anything I can come up with.

I realize there’s a lot of bowl games. I mean really, the Chick Fil A Bowl? Doesn’t really have the stoic tradion of say, the Rose or Cotton Bowl. But I don’t really mind. What the hell else are you going to do on New Years Eve Day? You need to rest up for the ensuing night anyway, so you might as well couch it and watch just one more week of NCAA football.

Had a great New Year’s Eve. Me and someone (who? Who you ask? Wouldn’t you like to know) met up with some friends at a Hibachi restaurant. I’d never been. For those of you are doing the “I’ve heard of a Hibachi restaurant, yet I can’t remember what they are,” thing- It’s one of those places where they cook the food in front of you.
Very cool.
Oh, and the food was fantastic. If I didn’t get the dog and pony show I’d still pay top dollar for the food. Man it was good.
After that we went to some other friends’ house and played this DVD based game (can’t remember the name) where they give you clues about movies and you shout out the name of the movie. Good Lord, I RULE at this game. We played guys vs. girls and the men won like 58kagillion to 10- most of which was scored by me. I aint good at much, but a Rainman knowledge of movies is one thing I can always lean on. YEAH ME!!!!

Mom made ham n’ beans today. It’s kind of this redneck thing; although she’s by no means a redneck, I don’t think Mexicans can be rednecks. Anyway, beans on New Years are supposed to bring you good luck. I hear cabbage does the same thing. Either way I’ve yet to see the correlation between culinary transporters of explosive flatulence and good luck.

Hummm, that’s all I got for now. I know it don’t seem like much but with all that I’ve been working the above is all that really happened.
Anyhoo, there are some big things afoot for Kirkopolis. I’m chewing on the details now, but stay tuned and expect the unexpected (ohhhh, intrigue. Exciting huh?).

More soon…..

Random Images From The Vault

2007-01-01T12:58:00.000-06:00

"Long December and there’s reason to believe maybe this year will be better than the last…"
A.D.

Random Images From The Vault

2006-12-09T12:24:00.000-06:00

Working Way Too Much To Post- In MeanTime Check Out This Cool Link

2006-12-05T14:32:00.000-06:00

Click HERE.

2006-11-23T11:52:00.000-06:00

More Proof That Johnny Cash Was The Coolest Person EVER

On top of it being another great song (granted, all of his work was great) it’s a damned good video.

Featured:
Iggy Pop,Kanye West,Chris Martin,Kris Kristofferson, Patty Smith, Terrence Howard, Flea, Q-Tip, Adam Levine, Chris Rock, Justin Timberlake, Kate Moss, Sir Peter Blake, Sheryl Crow, Dennis Hopper, Woody Harrelson, Amy Lee, Tommy Lee, Dixie Chicks, Mick Jones, Sharon Stone, Bono, Shelby Lynne, Anthony Kiedis, Travis Barker, Lisa Marie Presley, Kid Rock, Jay Z, Keith Richards, Billy Gibbons, Corinne Bailey Rae, Johnny Depp, Graham Nash, Brian Wilson, Rick Rubin, Owen Wilson

A great line-up. Whoever decided to include the genius of Brian Wilson just earned my respect.

2006-11-23T07:24:00.000-06:00

I Knew It!!!

I posted about this guy before, and his phenomena on YouTube keeps growing. Seems he’s the #7 most subscribed “show” out there. Not bad for one of the most popular pages on the net.
Anyhoo, it seems in this episode he’s meeting with producers in L.A. My guess is that with a void to be filled after the cancellation of “Queer Eye” the powers that be are looking for the next Caron Kressley- could it be William?
Here’s the thing- he still works at The Gap in Paducah, Ky. a mere 30 minutes away from my hometown. It’s got a good mall that I need to visit anyway so I figure I’ll let fate decide. Me and um, someone I haven’t mentioned (gotta keep some things private) will go down there and fall into the Gap. If he’s workin’ I suppose I’ll buy a little somethin' somethin' then have a story to tell after fame becomes him.
If not, I’ll still have new duds for the winter.

…And The Radio Free Celebrity I’m In Love With This Week Is-

2006-11-23T06:57:00.000-06:00

So Jaws suggested G4’s Morgan Web, definitely fits the criteria, which of course “hotness” is the only qualification. However, there are very few video games that I’m good at right off the bat, and since I have no work ethic and have the attention span of a humming bird on crack, I pretty much hate all video games and most things associated with them (but I can see me making an exception in her case- after all I’m lazy, not stupid).
Anyhoo, this week’s edition is again an obscure hostess on an obscure series, that’s actually a pretty good watch. The fact she can probably change your oil and transmission fluid is just a really cool plus.So, without any further ado I give you the house from TLC's “Overhaulin"-

Adrienne Janic

I Like This Guy, What A Shame That I Probably Won’t Be Voting For Him- Or, Just When You Thought I Was Going All Left Wing On Ya

2006-11-23T06:18:00.001-06:00

After all, I’ve been saving my McCain vote for years. But then again who knows, we might just see some sort of McCain / Giuliani ticket, which of course could give us up to eight blissful years of real Republican leadership (and be ‘real’ I mean an office lead by convictions, and not lead by oil companies, defense firms, Karl Rove, etc…..). Personally I’m just glad that I won’t be forced, simply by default, to vote Democrat in the big one…. the streak should survive.

Former New York City mayor Rudy Giuliani, a moderate Republican best known for his stewardship of the city after the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks, has taken the first step in a 2008 presidential bid.
The former mayor filed papers to create the Rudy Giuliani Presidential Exploratory Committee, Inc., establishing a New York-based panel that would allow him to raise money to explore a White House run and travel the country.
The four-page filing, obtained by The Associated Press, lists the purpose of the non-profit corporation "to conduct federal 'testing the waters' activity under the Federal Election Campaign Act for Rudy Giuliani."

So, despite what Oprah may wish- the Obhma ticket may not be as strong as once suspected. I like him as well, but let’s not get crazy here.

So If I’m Reading This Correctly, South Africa Has Just Surpassed Us In Human Rights- Or, Just When You Thought I Was Going All Right Wing On Ya

2006-11-23T06:18:00.000-06:00

Yup- it’s official. South freaking Africa, the same country that brought you all those bad guys in Lethal Weapon 2 just passed a gay marriage bill- something that our ‘civilized’ country has baulked at for years.

JOHANNESBURG, Dec. 1 -- South Africa's highest court on Thursday recognized the marriage of two Pretoria women and gave Parliament a year to extend legal marital rights to all same-sex couples.
The ruling, greeted with jubilation by gay men and lesbians but with frustration by some church leaders, will make South Africa the first country to allow marriages between gay people on a continent where homosexual activity is widely condemned and often outlawed.
Only four countries in the world -- the Netherlands, Belgium, Spain and Canada -- currently allow same-sex marriages nationwide. Several others, mostly in Europe, recognize civil unions between gay partners.

Repeat this after me- “…with liberty and justice for ALL.”

Talkin’ Turkey

2006-11-21T10:05:00.000-06:00

OK, I’m working like a gillion hours (no kidding, a gillion- not even kidding) a week so no time for posting.
Anyhoo, I did this last year and I hope someone took advantage of it. By using brine you’ll make the best damned turkey EVER. No kidding, I’ve done it and it makes for an incredible bird. So much so that it staggers me that not many people do this.
Well, without further ado, taken from cooks.com here’s the yearly turkey brine recipe-

4 quarts water (24 cups)
3 1/2 cups kosher or sea salt
4 cups sugar
2 tablespoons cracked peppercorns
7-8 cloves garlic5 bay leaves, crumbled coarsely

Wash and dry a cooler which is large enough to hold the turkey you will be placing in the brine. (Or use a food grade plastic bag made for the purpose, available at your supermarket; this method will require only half the amount of brine.)
Prepare brine by combining ingredients in a stainless steel or enamel pan (do not use aluminum). Bring to a boil, stirring occasionally, until all of the sugar and salt are dissolved. Allow brine too cool. Pour into cooler (or bag, if using).
Add 2-3 quarts of ice; enough to bring the temperature of the brine to about 35F degrees. (Or, if using a plastic bag, add 1 1/2 quarts cold water and refrigerate the brine until it reaches this temperature.)
Remove giblets, neck, etc. from inside turkey and refrigerate to use later on for making gravy, stuffing, or broth. Wash turkey well, inside and out. Rub inside of turkey liberally with additional kosher or sea salt.
Prepare sufficient brine to submerge turkey entirely. Recipe may be doubled, if required (or halved, if using a plastic bag for the brining).
When the brine is cold, add the turkey to the cooler or plastic bag. Keep the turkey cold (35F or below). This can be accomplished by adding ice, or placing the cooler or plastic bag in a cold place. Check temperature to be sure it does not go above 40F. (Note: A frozen turkey can be brined until it has thawed).
When ready to roast the turkey, remove from brine and rinse thoroughly in cold water. Pat dry with a clean towel. Rub turkey skin with 2 tablespoons melted butter combined with 1 tablespoon olive oil and 1 teaspoon soy sauce. Bacon drippings can be added for extra flavor. Sprinkle turkey with garlic powder, salt, pepper, and paprika.
Proceed to Roast Turkey.

Enjoy!!!

He's Probably Still Doing Push-Ups

2006-11-11T07:26:00.000-06:00

What A Life...

1919-2006

Random Images From The Vault

2006-11-09T14:43:00.000-06:00

I once had a girl, or should I say she once had me
She showed me her room. Isn't it good. Norwegian Wood
She asked me to stay and she told me to sit anywhere
So I looked around and noticed there was not a chair
So I sat on the rug, biding my time, drinking her wine.
We talked until two. And then she said...It's time for bed
She told me she worked in the morning and started to laugh
I told her I didn't and crawled up to sleep in the bath
And when I awoke, I was alone, this bird had flown
So I, I lit a fire, isn't it good, Norwegian Wood

J.L.

Just In Case You’re Wondering Why I’m Fearful That He’ll Beat The Crap Out Of Me

2006-11-06T13:30:00.000-06:00

You mostly use your lats when you throw a punch, and here’s a picture of my Brother Eric’s lats.

I hear he hasn’t washed his back in over 15 years.

...And The Radio Free Celeberty I'm In Love With This Week Is-

2006-11-05T14:06:00.000-06:00

Mythbuster- Kari Byron

Ahhh, Like Sweet, Sweet Morphine….

2006-11-04T16:04:00.000-06:00

You know that feeling you get when you’re a heroin / crack / meth / Days Of Our Lives – type addict? Then you go and kick the habit, all cold turkey ‘n sh*t? And then for a long time you’re dealer / NBC affiliate doesn’t come by to tempt you with a fix? And that feeling of longing, emptiness and pain that you felt at first is starting to go away? Then out of no where your dealer / NBC affiliate comes back out of nowhere with a huge supply of primo stuff and story lines?
No! Don’t know that feeling? Well, other than the Days Of Our Lives part neither do I. But, none the less I bet it felt a lot like the absence of my imaginary friend Jawamily over at Former MVP.
She’s been out for a while, working a ton (which boy oh boy can I empathize with- nice use of the word ‘empathize’ huh?) but has thrown her adoring public a bone.
Do yourself a favor and check it out. While you’re at it, convince her to talk Steigs into emerging from her cocoon (a metaphorical one, not a real one, and it has nothing to do with the movie of the same title either) and give us something that’ll wow the socks off us…. We’re waiting like its Episode I without Jar Jar.

Check out Jaws here (and welcome back me lady).

My Wish For You All

2006-10-31T14:08:00.000-06:00

2006-10-30T15:43:00.000-06:00

An Oldie But A Goodie

…And The Radio Free Celebrity I’m In Love With This Week Is-

2006-10-29T15:37:00.000-06:00

Iron Chef- Cat Cora

2006-10-29T14:59:00.000-06:00

Since “Queer Eye” Has Been Canceled, We Now Move Into “Funny, Gay Men II”

For all I know this guy’s been a YouTube phenomenon for some time, yet I’ve been busy so I haven’t quite kept up on things.
Anyhoo, as a straight guy with no idea how the other half thinks, the materialistic advice of an anonymous gay man really does the trick (so to speak). To ease my fellow Mid-Westerners into this, I choose a take co-starring his ‘quite the hottie’ friend Stephanie.

Interesting side note: As I’m posting this I’m also checking in on this week’s NASCAR race- That’s right, y’all bitches better be checkin’ out how no homo I be!!!

Random Images From The Vault

2006-10-29T14:16:00.000-06:00

Once Again, If You Have Something To Say, Someone (With The Experience To Back It Up) Has Said It Better

2006-10-29T12:15:00.000-06:00

In case you’ve forgotten, Pat Tillman was a stand-out defensive back for The Arizona Cardinals who, after Sep. 11th, and along with his brother, abruptly walked away from a multimillion dollar contract to join the Special Forces. Pat was then killed in a friendly fire incident which was summarily and disgracefully covered up by the U.S. Army (who wove some heroic tale of ‘taken by enemy hands’) in a propaganda fiasco to save face from the fact that Pat’s death was due to the gross incompetence of his field leaders (facts of which have now been confirmed by the military).

From TruthDig.com

After Pat’s Birthday
By Kevin Tillman

Editor’s note: Kevin Tillman joined the Army with his brother Pat in 2002, and they served together in Iraq and Afghanistan. Pat was killed in Afghanistan on April 22, 2004. Kevin, who was discharged in 2005, has written a powerful, must-read document.

It is Pat’s birthday on November 6, and elections are the day after. It gets me thinking about a conversation I had with Pat before we joined the military. He spoke about the risks with signing the papers. How once we committed, we were at the mercy of the American leadership and the American people. How we could be thrown in a direction not of our volition. How fighting as a soldier would leave us without a voice… until we got out.

Much has happened since we handed over our voice

Somehow we were sent to invade a nation because it was a direct threat to the American people, or to the world, or harbored terrorists, or was involved in the September 11 attacks, or received weapons-grade uranium from Niger, or had mobile weapons labs, or WMD, or had a need to be liberated, or we needed to establish a democracy, or stop an insurgency, or stop a civil war we created that can’t be called a civil war even though it is. Something like that.

Somehow our elected leaders were subverting international law and humanity by setting up secret prisons around the world, secretly kidnapping people, secretly holding them indefinitely, secretly not charging them with anything, secretly torturing them. Somehow that overt policy of torture became the fault of a few “bad apples” in the military.

Somehow back at home, support for the soldiers meant having a five-year-old kindergartener scribble a picture with crayons and send it overseas, or slapping stickers on cars, or lobbying Congress for an extra pad in a helmet. It’s interesting that a soldier on his third or fourth tour should care about a drawing from a five-year-old; or a faded sticker on a car as his friends die around him; or an extra pad in a helmet, as if it will protect him when an IED throws his vehicle 50 feet into the air as his body comes apart and his skin melts to the seat.

Somehow the more soldiers that die, the more legitimate the illegal invasion becomes.

Somehow American leadership, whose only credit is lying to its people and illegally invading a nation, has been allowed to steal the courage, virtue and honor of its soldiers on the ground.
Somehow those afraid to fight an illegal invasion decades ago are allowed to send soldiers to die for an illegal invasion they started.

Somehow faking character, virtue and strength is tolerated.

Somehow profiting from tragedy and horror is tolerated.

Somehow the death of tens, if not hundreds, of thousands of people is tolerated.

Somehow subversion of the Bill of Rights and The Constitution is tolerated.

Somehow suspension of Habeas Corpus is supposed to keep this country safe.

Somehow torture is tolerated.

Somehow lying is tolerated.

Somehow reason is being discarded for faith, dogma, and nonsense.

Somehow American leadership managed to create a more dangerous world.

Somehow a narrative is more important than reality.

Somehow America has become a country that projects everything that it is not and condemns everything that it is.

Somehow the most reasonable, trusted and respected country in the world has become one of the most irrational, belligerent, feared, and distrusted countries in the world.

Somehow being politically informed, diligent, and skeptical has been replaced by apathy through active ignorance.

Somehow the same incompetent, narcissistic, virtueless, vacuous, malicious criminals are still in charge of this country.

Somehow this is tolerated.

Somehow nobody is accountable for this.

In a democracy, the policy of the leaders is the policy of the people. So don’t be shocked when our grandkids bury much of this generation as traitors to the nation, to the world and to humanity. Most likely, they will come to know that “somehow” was nurtured by fear, insecurity and indifference, leaving the country vulnerable to unchecked, unchallenged parasites.

Luckily this country is still a democracy. People still have a voice. People still can take action. It can start after Pat’s birthday.

Brother and Friend of Pat Tillman,
Kevin Tillman

After Testing My Faith, God Will Sometimes Decide To Throw Me A Nice Little Bone

2006-10-28T18:20:00.000-05:00

USC – 31
Oregon St. – 33

Tales From The Gym

2006-10-28T11:54:00.000-05:00

So I worked a ton on Friday, was pretty exhausted and therefore didn't go to the gym. Instead I went this a.m. (Saturday) to make up for my Friday. Now Saturdays are usually one of my days off so I walked into a bunch of people I didn't know and didn't want around me. I have a routine and so do the people I normally work out around. These new people were not my workout friends and are not welcome in my workout world. These people just used the stations with no real zest and refused to re-stack their weights. I freaking HATE that.
I could feel all of them, looking at me, listening to their Kenny Chesney playing iPods. And what's worse, not one of the many girls was even remotely attractive. Where oh where is the motivation?
I really do fear change.

Exit Whitney and Bobby, Enter Kate And Pete

2006-10-28T09:29:00.000-05:00

Gosh, I sure hope they have kids-

Moss Confirms Engagement to Doherty
Supermodel Kate Moss confirmed speculation at a London party on Tuesday night that she is to wed her rocker boyfriend Pete Doherty.
The catwalk beauty sparked rumors of marriage when she was photographed wearing an engagement ring in Florence, Italy, last Thursday.
And when the couple attended the Moet and Chandon masked ball in London earlier this week, they confirmed they're going to wed.
Moss said, "We are engaged," while Doherty added, "We are getting married."
The loved-up couple reportedly serenaded each other in a karaoke room at the celebrity event. Other guests included actress Scarlett Johansson and models Gisele Bundchen, Erin O'Connor, Elizabeth Jagger and Jerry Hall.

This (again) begs the re-asking of this question, “Who the f**k is Pete Doherty?”
I think he's one of those people who's famous for no real reason at all- like Charo.

More Proof That God Enjoys Testing My Faith Harshly And Often

2006-10-28T07:49:00.000-05:00

I called it Detroit in 7 - it was Nellyville in 5

Joe Niekro

2006-10-28T07:45:00.000-05:00

From MLB.com-

Joe Niekro recognized the pitch as soon as it left his brother's hand. After all, it was the pitch that their dad taught them when they were just kids growing up together in Ohio.
There it was -- the signature Niekro knuckleball -- dancing toward home plate at Atlanta-Fulton County Stadium on May 29, 1979. By the time Phil finished his delivery, Joe had had swung, sending the baseball over the left-field wall for a home run -- the lone long ball of his 22-year career.
Joe lived in the shadows of his older brother's career, which was honored with an induction into baseball's Hall of Fame. But on that day, it was the younger Niekro who walked away the winner. Over 22 Major League seasons, the same pitch that Phil made famous helped Joe Niekro win 221 games, including a club-record 144 for the Houston Astros.
On Friday, Joe Niekro passed away. According to The Tampa Tribune, Niekro suffered an aneurysm and was taken to South Florida Baptist Hospital before being transported to St. Joseph's hospital on Thursday. He was 61.

I actually remember watching him play, all decked out in those horrible orange, striped, polyester uniforms of the Astros (and a hell of a hurler for my Cubs I might add). In addition to the knuckler, Joe (and Phil) were also masters of the spit and scuff balls- which, like steroids, are only legal if you’re name is Roger Clemons. Anyway, he was a throwback, and a pitcher’s pitcher. He was good for the game, fun to watch, and will be sadly missed.

Random Images From The Vault

2006-10-27T18:01:00.000-05:00

Despite What Hollywood Tells Us, Sometimes The Not-So-Pretty Can Sometimes Do Good Things

2006-10-27T17:34:00.000-05:00

The Ford Taurus is an ugly-assed car. Always has been, always will be. Sure it was used for several years as Ford’s racehorse for NASCAR, but to even suggest that it looked even remotely like the road vehicle is laughable at best. Nope, the Taurus was just a damned ugly car.
But it was a good one.
It had the MPG of an economy car, had the crash test rating of a Sherman tank, handling of an Indy road car, and more reliable than someone who can’t think of any more euphemisms.
Two years ago I took one about 14 hours up to darn near the Canadian border for work. It was December and I had to drive about 4 hours along Lake Michigan. During that time I drove through what is known as a ‘lake effect’ which is basically non-stop, icy snow. Anyhoo, the Taurus (white by the way, so there was no chance of being seen in the blizzard) had a quite powerful and heavy V-6 that sat on top of its front wheel drive- making for some near flawless handling.
My dad drove one for a few years and loved it- and trust me, this guy is famously discriminatory about his vehicles.
With that being said, the Taurus, and even worse, several people’s livelihoods are no more-

HAPEVILLE, Ga. - The last Taurus sedan rolled off the assembly line on Friday and 1,950 jobs went with it.
…The nation's second-biggest automaker announced 10 months ago that it would close the plant as part of a reorganization plan to boost Ford Motor Co.'s profits. Friday's milestone concluded 21 years of making the popular sedan, with sales of more than 7 million vehicles.
…In the last five years, the plant was ranked as one of the top 10 most productive assembly lines in North America.
"The Atlanta plant and the employees there had a great run — the vehicles they built there were very important to the company," said Ford spokeswoman Anne Marie Gattari. "Unfortunately, we're in a transition period where we are working to align our capacity with the customer demand and as a result we have to idle several assembly plants."
The workers who lost their jobs could choose among eight separation, educational and
In the last five years, the plant was ranked as one of the top 10 most productive assembly lines in North America.

Let’s face it, the Taurus aint exactly the T-bird or the Camero. We won’t see a nostalgic re-introduction of it. Nope it’s just gone, and along with it one of the few examples of great American auto engineering in a long time.
To those who built her- best of luck and a job very well done.

As I Am By No Means A Professional Writer, I’ll Let One Do The Work For Me-

2006-10-27T01:33:00.000-05:00

From The Toronto Star

Everyone knows Rush Limbaugh's just faking
Oct. 27, 2006. 01:00 AM
LINWOOD BARCLAY

Now, I know this may offend those who suffer from this particular condition, and these individuals might not like it much when I suggest that a certain person with this diagnosis is exaggerating his symptoms, but I have to say, I think Rush Limbaugh is just pretending to be a dick.
While the right-wing radio host does exhibit most, if not all, of the common characteristics of this behavior, it's so rare for all of them to coalesce at a single moment that one can only conclude Limbaugh's most recent performances are nothing short of fraudulent.
I'm no expert diagnostician, but nobody could be this big a one. Limbaugh must be acting.
Consider what Rush Limbaugh said this week about Michael J. Fox.
The Canadian-born actor did an ad for a U.S. politician who supports stem cell research, a controversial field that many believe could lead to a cure for Parkinson's disease. Fox suffers from Parkinson's, and anyone who has seen him in television interviews in the last few years is aware of his symptoms. Awkward, involuntary movements, occasional speech difficulty, tremors.
Those symptoms are much in evidence in the ad.
Said Limbaugh on his radio show: "He is exaggerating the effects of the disease. He's moving all around and shaking and it's clearly an act." Limbaugh also suggested Fox probably went off his medication before filming the ad.
It's difficult to imagine that anyone could say anything so amazingly uninformed, so incredibly moronic, and actually believe it. That's why I'm so convinced Limbaugh was acting.
At this point, it's probably useful to review the most common symptoms exhibited by a person with EDS (extreme dick syndrome) for those not up to speed on them:
1. Exhibits a level of arrogance rooted in a feeling of superiority, without having any attributes to feel superior about.
2. Is capable of achieving levels of hypocrisy (railing against drug addicts when you are one, for example) previously thought unattainable.
3. Blow-hardedness.
4. Is indifferent to the woes and misfortunes of the disadvantaged.
5. Lies his ass off.
6. Goes to the "6 items or less" checkout with a dozen things.
7. Never lets ignorance of a subject keep him from shooting his mouth off about it.
8. Believes facts are overrated.
9. Chews with his mouth open.
10. Always finds some little thing the waitress did wrong to justify not leaving a tip.
Anyone who has four or more of these symptoms is very likely suffering from EDS. Sadly, at the moment there's no known cure for this condition. Researchers are still debating whether you're born with it, or it's a lifestyle choice. The real problem is, people with this condition don't make for a very sympathetic cause.
But in Limbaugh's case, it's probably a moot point, since he's just putting on a show.
My guess, in fact, is that Rush Limbaugh is a liberal plant. A Democratic plant. The Democrats, who appear to be on the verge of winning back both houses of Congress, don't want to leave anything to chance. What better way to turn things their way than for a prominent spokesperson for the right wing (nudge nudge, wink wink) to say something so astonishingly and despicably vile that it will make fair-minded Republicans vote Democrat, or at the very least, stay home.
I know these statements of mine are going to enrage genuine sufferers of EDS everywhere. "How dare he say that!" they'll say. "We know we're rude and insensitive and total jerks 24/7, and he's got a lot of nerve suggesting otherwise."
I will say this, however. If it can be determined by an independent panel of experts that Rush Limbaugh is, in fact, a dick, I will apologize, unreservedly.

2006-10-25T09:49:00.000-05:00

It Was Twenty Years Ago Today....

Sorry Jack

2006-10-19T16:04:00.000-05:00

Sure the Oscars are like 4 months away, and sure everyone is already thinking ‘Best Actor’ for Jack Nicholson in “The Departed” (probably should be ‘Supporting Actor, but do you really thing anyone would dare suggest Jack would support anyone else’s performance?) but let’s not jump to conclusions.
I got me an early prediction- coming out of nowhere with the ferocious blow of a Raging Bull left hook will be the amazing and yet to be truly honored Forrest Whitaker as Idi Amin in “The Last King Of Scotland”.
I’ve seen bits and pieces and from those brief moments I’m already mesmerized by a presence that overcomes everything else on the screen. I was almost fearful of what I saw (and it was only for a few brief moments) and am quite certain by researching that I am not alone. Those who have seen the movie are simply astounded. In brief, he plays a certainly evil man with no theatrics, but with just plain evil.
The movie opens soon here in the sticks and I'll be sure to give ya a full review.

So remember my dear minions, you read it here first….

Random Images Of A Friend

2006-10-19T14:33:00.000-05:00

You send your lover off to China
Then you wait for her to call
You put your girl up on a pedestal
Then you wait for her to fall
I put my summer's back in a letter
And I hide it from the world
All the regrets you can't forget
Are somehow pressed upon a picture
In the face of such an ordinary girl

When you sleep
You find your mother in the night
But she fades just out of sight
So there isn't any sweetness in the dreaming
And when you wake the morning showers you with light
And it makes you feel alright
But it's just the same hard candy
You're remembering again

Go ask her to come around
And see me late after dark
Don't ask me to come around
Then wait to if there's a spark

A.D.

2006-10-18T07:37:00.000-05:00

Who Wants A World Full Of Ugly People Anyway?

First saw this over at Shari’s page and it really opened my eyes, and then I discovered it wasn’t that my eyes were open, but somebody using Photoshop opened them for me (snort!).
Anyway, quite interesting-